make the worst chess variant possible!

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fishium_tcc

make up the worst chess variant!

must be fair

Here's one: 

Pawn herd

All pawns move at the rate of a snail because why not

OMISGOAT
White's High Ground Chess,
Aserew12phone

Bro there are 8 ways to mate in 1

T-jankins9522
Like dice chess,you roll a die,but instead of the die meaning what piece you have to move,it means how your pieces move, because they’re all the same. Capture all pieces to win.
chessmanley
wacky board
me

Squirrel chess. The board is just to accomodate the new pawn, called a "Squirrel". Squirrels move without capturing to a knight's move in a set direction, or they can capture the first piece they hit in an imaginary z-pentomino toward that direction. Squirrels can move twice on their first move, and can en-passant eachother.