make the worst chess variant possible!



Squirrel chess. The board is just to accomodate the new pawn, called a "Squirrel". Squirrels move without capturing to a knight's move in a set direction, or they can capture the first piece they hit in an imaginary z-pentomino toward that direction. Squirrels can move twice on their first move, and can en-passant eachother.
make up the worst chess variant!
must be fair
Here's one:
Pawn herd
All pawns move at the rate of a snail because why not