Chess.com Sterotypes

There are many kinds of people that freqeunt these halls...

• The Mute. The Mute never says a thing. He doesnt read the forums and he never friends anyone. He is here to play chess. He doesn't even have and avatar. He probably has a social life.
• The Captain. The guy you never see anywhere else but vote chess. It seems to be his thing, he's always convincing people to help the team and posting lines.
• The Resident. He's always freaking here. He's posted in every other thread. He seems to never leave or sleep. Anyone who's ever read a thread knows him. Does he actually play chess? No one knows...
• The Commentator. The Live Chess version of the resident. He's always watching the top guys play. He tends to repeat himself.
• The Politicion. He debates just for sport. He loves tackling trolls even when you think it should be obvious the troll isn't worth it. Generally, his English is bad.
• The Celebrity. Famous for some thread disaster. Altough he doesn't post as near as much as the Resident, he's just as famous. He often is the butt of many jokes.
• The Guy Who's Home Life Must Honestly Bore Him to Tears. Posting random threads is his obsession. Not only does he post one or two random threads to be funny, he seems to genuinely care whether people think Magnus Carlsen ate the same thing he did for breakfast.
• Rage Monster. Loves to play bullet chess at a low level. You owe him a rematch and he knows it. Deny him his God-given right and prepare to clean vomit off your home wall. Loves posting in caps.
• The Guy with a girl for an Avatar. You know who you are. 'Nuff said.
• The Carlsen fanboy. Lives for Carlsen. Most of his threads are about Magnus and if he had a son he would name him Magnus.
• The Hater. He hates you. He's only here to tell you why you shouldn't be. He's the forum version of the Rage Monster. He begins passive-agressive then he goes from there. He too loves caps.
• The Professor. Only posts in threads when he can write and entire paragraph. His posts are often so long, not even the Resident wants to read it.

Edit Point

• The Idealist. Trys hard to make the world a better place. He love to consider how cool it would be if Magnus was handicaped by having his feet in cold water. Ultimately his point is usually it would be more fun to watch. He also loves to beat the "fairness" drum.
• The Sarc-man. He is the epotime of sarcasm. People like me love him. People often think he's serious and educate him. He does things for his own good pleasure.
• Excuse Man. Lag is the bane of the earth. As soon as bullet game runs slow, he's going to blame lag and call you a cheater. He's also know for being tired.
• The Everyone-and-his-Brother-is-Running-an-Engine Guy. He sees an engine around every corner. He will call out a 1400 in a blunder filled match on using an engine after he's been forked. He's paraniod about it. He loves the cheating forum.
• The Admin. This guy is the admin of your group. He's constantly posting stuff pertaining to the group. When you see him elswhere talking about non-group stuff, it kind of trips you out.
• The Spammer. He seems uncapable of posting something over two lines. He has the attention span of Dory from Finding Nemo. He seems concerned about points. Once he posts in a thread, he becomes permantly attached to it.
• The (not so) New Guy. This guy joined today. And the first thing he did was start a thread about something he doesn't like. He knows his way around very well. You've never heard someone scream additional account louder than this guy.
• First Page. This guy finds it nessecary to have the first post on the daily puzzle. If he's American, it means he has to stay up till the middle of the night. His existence isn't justified till he does it. He's kind of like a little kid trying to walk on only the paint in the parking lot.
• The Diction Nazi. You assume he's old. He'll correct you on dumb things that make no difference to the point. Loves to make distictions. Don't say Forum when you mean Thread or he'll eat you. He particurally goes crazy when you're disagreeing with him.
• The Flirt. If he spots someone with a female avatar, he's gung-ho on friending them. He's the king of chat-ups. He craves attention and is desperately hoping none of them are The Guy with a girl for an Avatar. He rarely speaks to guys. He's only here because he got kicked off of BlackPeopleMeet.com.
• The Rating Guy. His rating is more than 400 points higher than yours. And you're going to know about it. Often found in live chess. As soon as you bring up a move or disagree, he pounces. What do you know? You probably still wonder if Knights can move backwards.
• The Reporter. No he doesn't report news, he reports you, that is, if you call him anything he doesn't like. Loves live chess chat. Tell him he doesn't know what he's talking about and he'll send a ticket off to staff faster than you can say slap yo mama. Which may earn you another ticket.
• The Newbie. His rating flucuates between 900 and below. He's here because google brought up this first when he searched chess. He can beat his dad and he's moved on to thrash us. His openings are adorable. He's one of the few people who likes Knights better than Rooks. He tells you its a preference.
• Mr. 2-cents. No he's not a rapper. Though he does have a bad rap. He loves to post on threads. He's not a resident, so he doesn't have time to read the entire thread. But that doesn't stop him from spouting his opionion. The topic may have moved on, but he doesn't notice. Unlike the spammer, he rarely visits a thread twice.
• What About (X) Guy. He loves to find loopholes in your arguments. Does it make difference? No, but who cares? He'll pull the one lose string till it unravels your argument.
• The Forum Gamer. Doesn't do much else but play forum games. Whether it's adding one word to a random story to seeing if he can guess the OP's middle name, you can count him in.

Which one are you?

I'm sure I left some good ones off so if you think of one, post it and I'll add it! Cheers!

I have an idea who the #1 "Politicion" on chess.com is...

Haha! Do tell Macer. I know which one you are... XD

Can you think of any more?

I'm a Celebrity, and GBC was a Resident, right? As for the #1 "Politicion"... well, it's pretty clear who he is, so I won't say his name explicitly.

And I think that's a really good list! The only other stereotype I can think of right now is...

The Invintor. A beginner who thinks he has proven that some aspect of traditional chess theory is flawed. Invints new opinings, interpretations of rules, etc, and creates threads about them. Note that not all people who create such threads are Invintors - Celebrities and wannabe Celebrities sometimes post them for fun. However, Invintors are serious about what they invint, and will usually defend their invintions against anyone who questions them.

The way I see it, trolls, depending on what tye of troll they are, fit pretty well into some of those categories.

I didn't see goddess on that list.

Mute.

Hmmm... I think you're a cross-breed between celebrity and resident. I know you for the resident side. Not really because you've done anything crazy (you've had some hilarious stuff, but that's not what you're known for). Sebleb is a celebrity. GCB was a totally resident.

I like you idea! But seriously, its a specific celebrity. Lol I was considering adding one about the guy who always wants to changing things. I'll throw it in there minus the daeth twist okay? Shanks!

Exactly. Defining a troll is impossible. It's like trying to define a nerd, kind of hard. Deeper than that.

I can't tell between goddess and The Guy with a girl for an Avatar, so I'll leave it alone. XD

Didn't see that coming. Figured none of them would post. Hope it didn't break your soul to post here.

Interesting... I've noticed that those people often clash with the "Politicions," so maybe their name could reflect that?

Nope!

Traditional hardcore trolls would definitely be placed under "haters." The new generation of entertaining trolls would be either celebrities or residents, with those that post often but whose posts aren't particularly memorable leaning toward resident, and those who post fewer but higher quality comments leaning toward celebrity.

Was. He either got banned or muted.

Celebrity, for sure!

And hopefully not The Guy with a girl as his avatar.

OH MY GOSH! I meant to put often writes in caps!!! Perfect! Going to edit. And I thought of a new one!

Resident. Duh. We love you harry, everyone knows you.

Read the red wording first...

The Professor. Only posts in threads when he can write an entire paragraph. His posts are often so long, not even the Resident wants to read it.

I start out as this guy, ^^^^^ until someone acts like an @$$ or is using an off kiltered argument against my posts that he didn't even read, I turn into this guy.... vvvvv

The Politicion. He debates just for sport. He loves tackling trolls even when you think it should be obvious the troll isn't worth it. Generally, his English is bad.

PS, even though my English is excellent, no one understands if they read...

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