Invent the new worst/most useless chess piece ever!

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Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

Invent the worst/most useless chess piece ever! I start; For example: the retarded pawn - it moves back every time you move your b1 knight.

Avatar of Ballofwhacks

The butler - it moves one square at a time diagonally and can only capture the enemy king. xP

Avatar of jonathansfirstacount

the derp kills only your pieces and is immortal

Avatar of TheGreatOogieBoogie
Ballofwhacks wrote:

The butler - it moves one square at a time diagonally and can only capture the enemy king. xP

I was gonna post it but called mine the lame-o and wasn't limited to just capturing the king. 

Avatar of TheGreatOogieBoogie

Also there's a gambit called the retarded pawn gambit:



Avatar of jcgentge

The hammer time. piece can move side to side in one turn. cannot be touched.

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

the pewn - it eats one of your own pieces per turn every time you dont move it

Avatar of 9thEagle

The Death Chamber--it takes up 5 spaces at once and replaces the Queen, same colored bishop, and the d,e, and f pawns. The Death Chamber can move diagonally one space and can only capture if a piece is on the top left or right corner. Pieces in any other position tha the top left or right corner cause block the Death Chamber from moving (like blocking a pawn by putting in front).

see poorly drawn picture below

Avatar of 9thEagle

In other words, it can't move, trapping the king forever unless it's captured.

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

the guest - this piece moves randomly around the board, disturbing the game. It can't be eaten but it eats the pieces that stay in the square where it goes - if there's your king, then u lose. Horrible

Avatar of CP6033

The enprise, it hangs your pieces

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

The sexy pawn - it distracts your pieces and you lose control of them, and your ELO gets decreased.

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

the-01101010001

this piece just stays in h6 and watches. It has a ''hidden power'': his face changes to 'happy' when you move your king. 

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

the-ckastler it looks like a rook and it castles and protects your queen.

Avatar of varelse1

Most useless piece ever?!

You mean more useless than black's LSB in the French????

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth
varelse1 wrote:

Most useless piece ever?!

You mean more useless than black's LSB in the French????

yeah

Avatar of PJAJ4321
Idrinkyourhealth wrote:

the pewn - it eats one of your own pieces per turn every time you dont move it

lol

Avatar of VULPES_VULPES

The drunkard - he moves one square in any random direction (determined by a roll of a die), capturing whatever is in his way, everytime a person moves.

Avatar of Idrinkyourhealth

the-friendly-cow - basically occupiyng the left side of the board... it moves itself 1 square forward every 3 turns. White has no pieces in the left side - there is a cow instead... and cow and forces to black to develope his left side before being crushed by it's unstoppable advancement.

Avatar of Luvrug

The beeched whale. starts the game on the e4/5 squares. because it's out of the sea it suffocates under it's own weight and dies before the first move is made.