The fart. Can move 1 or 2 squares in any direction and any piece next to it passes out until the fart moves away. By passing out the piece is immobilized and the piece can't check or capture. The fart can immobilized it's own men as well
Invent the new worst/most useless chess piece ever!

The Rock, randomly placed within the empty squares in the board and just blocks the path of your pieces
I feel like that's similar to a duck, except i guess a duck is actually useful

It then controls your life


the Masterpiece. Its a PIECE with infinite potential but nobody actually knows how to use it so it remains out of the board forever

The half-pawn. Its a pawn cut in half. it moves like a pawn but half of a square at a time. can only eat after attacking the same enemy piece 2 turns

THE-PAWNS' Sargeant. Stays in front of the pawns before the start of the game and starts walking and screaming at each one like in the film Heartbreak Ridge. Doesn't leave the board until one of the pawns moves.

The drunkard - he moves one square in any random direction (determined by a roll of a die), capturing whatever is in his way, everytime a person moves.
the other drunkard: moves to random squares on the board
notice their squares spread out in random direction