Do you really expect 12 year olds here to respect others after losing a terrifically long match?
Joking banter and arguments and insults are mostly fine, I think. As long as the other person is fine with it. If you're talking about cussing people out because you lost to them, well then yes that isn't very nice.
yea u have a point
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Regarding chess.com, this is one of the best moderation I've ever seen on the internet,
The check's in the mail.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
It's all relative.
If a new person mentions it every week, that's 52 individuals complaining each year.
Keep in mind in a year about 100 million individuals play here.
Regarding chess.com, this is one of the best moderation I've ever seen on the internet,
The check's in the mail.
I can't honestly comment on how good the moderation is. That doesn't mean I'm doubting the moderators are doing a fine job. I can say though that if the "disrespect" needs to be moderated it is obviously taking place, and that is unfortunate.
if disrespect needs to be moderated it is obviously taking place, and that is unfortunate.
It's unfortunate that disrespect is being moderated?
if disrespect needs to be moderated it is obviously taking place, and that is unfortunate.
It's unfortunate that disrespect is being moderated?
Sorry, let me clarify.
I can say though that if the "disrespect" needs to be moderated the "disrespect" is obviously taking place, and that "disrespect" is unfortunate.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
You never experienced it. How do you know it then? It only happens to other people? Let's face it, if it happens so much and to so many, why not you? It's like the people who say, "Chess.com has me playing Black in 80% of my games!" Then you check the person's stats and he's play White 51.9% of the time. Talk is talk.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
It's all relative.
If a new person mentions it every week, that's 52 individuals complaining each year.
Keep in mind in a year about 100 million individuals play here.
It's not just complaining about abuse. I also see forums which feature boasting about achievements. Of course boasting is nowhere near as disrespectful as abuse.
I have no problem with someone boasting about defeating or drawing a higher rated player and/or showing the won or drawn game. I think lower rated players deserve that right. I also don't have a problem with higher rated players showing wins vs. lower rated players, although in that case boasting would not be as acceptable to me.
What bothers me the most are the forums where someone is basically boasting about being dominant, such as utilizing the currently in vogue term "adoption." To me that is just completely disrespectful to their opponent(s).
I'm of the mindset that I'm fortunate to win any game I can, no matter what the opponent's strength, and can't imagine publicly bragging and practically shaming an opponent because I have had a nice string of success against them. However, like I alluded to in my original post, I have no problem feeling good about my successes, including domination, but I think it's best to keep those thoughts to oneself, or at least not share them with their opponent or on a public forum.
My thoughts aside though, I realize that not everybody is going have the same views on this matter and that this forum is unlikely to change anything, however I feel the need to voice my displeasure. And I hold no hard feelings towards those who are disrespectful on Chess.com. Every member is free to act as they choose, as far as I'm concerned, and it's up to the moderators if they choose to police it.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
It's all relative.
If a new person mentions it every week, that's 52 individuals complaining each year.
Keep in mind in a year about 100 million individuals play here.
It's not just complaining about abuse. I also see forums which feature boasting about achievements. Of course boasting is nowhere near as disrespectful as abuse.
I have no problem with someone boasting about defeating or drawing a higher rated player and/or showing the won or drawn game. I think lower rated players deserve that right. I also don't have a problem with higher rated players showing wins vs. lower rated players, although in that case boasting would not be as acceptable to me.
What bothers me the most are the forums where someone is basically boasting about being dominant, such as utilizing the currently in vogue term "adoption." To me that is just completely disrespectful to their opponent(s).
I'm of the mindset that I'm fortunate to win any game I can, no matter what the opponent's strength, and can't imagine publicly bragging and practically shaming an opponent because I have had a nice string of success against them. However, like I alluded to in my original post, I have no problem feeling good about my successes, including domination, but I think it's best to keep those thoughts to oneself, or at least not share them with their opponent or on a public forum.
My thoughts aside though, I realize that not everybody is going have the same views on this matter and that this forum is unlikely to change anything, however I feel the need to voice my displeasure. And I hold no hard feelings towards those who are disrespectful on Chess.com. Every member is free to act as they choose, as far as I'm concerned, and it's up to the moderators if they choose to police it.
When you interact with a 5 year old, it's important to be nice, because they're intellectually and emotionally incapable of handling anything less.
But when two adults interact, it's more important to be genuine. In fact being nice for its own sake can be condescending, or in any case childish, and impede the relationship. When the two individuals are honest, they can work through things, and if they're not honest, then a real relationship doesn't exist.
It sounds like you're in the process of transitioning between 5 year old and adult, and you're giving a stream of consciousness version of your thoughts.
Why is there often such a lack of respect between opponents on Chess.com or in online chess in general? I personally have not encountered it myself
So you're doubting your own experience and believing hearsay instead??
Personally, I always trust my own experience a lot more than talk.
Let's face it. There's too much mention of it so a good amount of it has to be occurring.
You never experienced it. How do you know it then? It only happens to other people? Let's face it, if it happens so much and to so many, why not you? It's like the people who say, "Chess.com has me playing Black in 80% of my games!" Then you check the person's stats and he's play White 51.9% of the time. Talk is talk.
It seems that every time I look at the ten most recent forums list I can find at least two which refer to some form of abuse or disrespect. Now certainly an argument can be made that the claims in these forums are either exaggerated or false, or that I'm overstating the amount of these forums I am seeing. Am I too trusting of what I honestly believe I am seeing?
And perhaps the reason I don't encounter it myself is I only occasionally play Game 10, don't pay any attention to chat and quickly seek a new opponent. I also haven't played Daily Chess since 2014 (I think) with the exception of an ongoing string of unrated games I am playing with a friend (by their request) who is working on improving.
Look, if I'm wrong then this is great news! I just highly doubt it and am not sure why so many are in denial. It just disturbs me (not that I lose any sleep over it) that when looking for an interesting forum to read I see so many of these types of forums I have issue with.
But when two adults interact, it's more important to be genuine. In fact being nice for its own sake can be condescending, or in any case childish, and impede the relationship. When the two individuals are honest, they can work through things, and if they're not honest, then a real relationship doesn't exist.
I don't recall having ever encountered one instance of my being kind being called dishonest by another adult (perhaps until now
), likely because it isn't dishonest. If that's how kindness is generally looked upon these days that is unfortunate. If you are in this unfortunate situation I hope at the very least you realize that not everyone perceives kindness this way.
Kindness for its own sake is always dishonest.
I'd come up with a witty reply but I don't have one.
How about this:
"Assuming unearned kindness is dishonest is disingenuous, after all, humans are social animals that rely on each other, sometime to a fault."
I have been super lucky with my ‘opponents’ all being either ther quiet or friendly... no rage here
too much unhappiness in the world
and Chess is my happy place 😊❤️👍
If only everyone was like you and your opponents.
Do you really expect 12 year olds here to respect others after losing a terrifically long match?
Joking banter and arguments and insults are mostly fine, I think. As long as the other person is fine with it. If you're talking about cussing people out because you lost to them, well then yes that isn't very nice.