verbal abuse during a game. what happens on this site?

I’ve had an unpleasant game this evening in which a player, who was losing and ultimately did lose badly, called me something appalling. Very bad sportsmanship (we’ve all lost badly at some point without doing this) but it has actually really upset me, in spite of my being a perfectly well-balanced male adult. I’ve always seen chess as a game for gentlemen (and ladies) with impeccable standards of conduct. I’m no prude - I played and still play football and cricket in teams where language can be fruity in the heat of the moment, but there is no place for this in chess (or really any game, in my old fashioned view)

What is done about people like this?

By the way, for any non cricketers, my profile pic is a very nice, gentlemanly English cricket match capturing a moment of triumph for me (half century). You’ll note how I salute the applause, which comes from both my team, spectators and the opposition (who won the match in the end).

If you report it, they might take action. What that action is depends on the case in question.

Sometimes it can be a warning, in extreme cases, with repeat offenders they can probably even close the account, and everything in between. You will not know what the punishment was.

That is the technical side of it.

In a practical sense, I would turn off game chat for everyone but friends (settings - social - game chat - friends only). Not ideal, but it eliminates distractions and unwanted stuff. If you feel that is extreme, the other option is to just accept that it will happen from time to time and report it when it does.

Personally, I do not like chatting during games, so turning the chat off works for me.

To be honest, I’m more bothered about the same person doing this to kids, for whom it is an appalling example. Number 3’s glib response shows that not everyone has the integrity I regard as essential to basic good manners

Thank you Nklristic for a sensible explanation

You're welcome.

As for children, I understand, but this site is like a social network, and the kids should not have the accounts unsupervised. As far as I am aware, the age of 13 is required to create the account officially. For kids younger than that, their parents should create their accounts and supervise them. Of course, in many cases it doesn't happen that way, I am not that naïve.

By the way, they have a separate site for kids, I think it is called chesskid.

If you are being abused. there are a number of things you can do. firstly, you can click report  https://support.chess.com/en/articles/8562517-how-do-i-report-someone

or you can message myself or another moderator directly.

#2 holy virtue signaling

You’re absolutely right: chess is a game of the mind, and traditionally associated with composure, elegance, and mutual respect. Online environments unfortunately allow anonymity to bring out the worst in some people — but thankfully, most platforms take this seriously.

Chess.com takes it seriously enough. Some players take it too seriously. All players can easily restrict or opt out of chat.

And BTW, mutual respect is, if anything, less typical with chess than other games, not more.

Not to rub it in but if anyone starts an argument with me, I'll deal with it, no need to bother anyone else about it.

Trash talk is the last move of someone who ran out of actual moves but to be honest if it does happen I dont take it to heart or care.

Yes it is very annoying and upsetting when that happens. It's happens to me a lot because I play a lot here. Someone even abused me last night after they lost. I blocked chatting during games but they emailed/ messaged me hours after the game which was strange. I reported him but I doubt anything will be done about him.

Dont tell people to grow up it can come off as rude or insulting

Block report and just wait

Yeah just report them

I am a kid and on a lot of forums I went to or created there are creeps talking about disgusting stuff I reported them but chess.com didn't do anything bout it

Disgusting stuff like what? Telling you to eat your vegetables? Now finish up your Brussel sprouts kid!

Bro I like vegetables, but not disgusting stuff like that, you know what I mean