I'm 100 elo, and even I say this isn't really practical. I may try it once as a joke, but not unironically.
Your 100 Elo.
Your losing Chess motivation.
It sounds like you hit rock bottom!
Tell me - What do you have to lose?
Why not give line a try?
It might make you have fun and laugh.
You also might win several games.
The Crab does control the center (From Distance)
The Crab does develop the knights (To Edges)
The Crab opening allows for Queen or King side castling!
Tell me - What are you afraid of?
Chess can be played in many different ways.
Have you even tried playing the line before you started saying bad things about it?