Controlling the center doesn't mean occupying it with your pieces, it means having influence over those squares. It's also important to not get so focused on controlling the center that you lag behind in things like development. I looked at a few of your games and it seems like you just move pieces kind of randomly/arbitrarily after move 4.
It's honestly because I don't even know what to do next. I'm told to develop pieces as much as I can, but then after that I can't think that far ahead.
There's a couple of things you can do at that point, which are probably better than random moves to see what happens. One is to look at all your pieces and pawns one by one and find any that are undefended. Consider a move which which remedies that. Or, if you decide you don't need to defend on that move, work out why that is OK. A second thing to do is to flip the board around and work out a good move from the opponent's point of view. If they have a really good move, what could you do to counter it. A third thing which is similar to the second is that I imagine what my opponent would do if it were their turn and not mine, like if I lost a turn. Then try to address that somehow with the move I do in fact have. This is just advice from a beginner.
The first thing you should do is stop being so critical of yourself. The second thing would probably be to work through the lessons on this website.
I am trying to use lessons but, as a free account, I'm restricted to one a week.
So use other resources. Lichess, for example, has lots of puzzles, lessons and videos to use and study...all free.