How do you know Chess isn't for you?

Serious question: How do you know chess isn't for you?

I have a very mild form of ADHD and struggle with short term memory, and it takes a lot of effort to focus on something and retain something. I'm only internalizing some of the chess lessons and strategies, and to be honest I'm starting to form a negative relationship with the game.

Now I'll admit I'm a casual player, and I'm not expecting to have a crazy ELO or anything but the fact is to get better is going to require a large time sink for me (which is to be expected if you want to get good at something, no problems with that) but I am concerned I just won't enjoy chess regardless. It's not about winning or ELOs or anything like that, it's about enjoying the experience of learning and playing. I haven't felt that way for a wee while about chess.

How do you know when to move on and try something else?

Thanks.

Those are all very good points. Yeah I had very modest expectations coming in.

Wow sorry to hear about your knee!! Glad you found chess though.

I'm going to take a little time away and see how I feel.

Why not just forget about worrying about lessons and just play with no expectations. It doesn’t always have to be about improvement as then yeah it can easily become a chore. That’s the great thing about chess - wherever you get to, you can find people that will give you an evenly matched game, and can have fun. 

That's a good point. I think sometimes on here I feel as though I'm not well matched and lose a ton of games in a row. I know it's not all about winning, I don't mind losing well contested games, but when I've had a reasonable accuracy but still lost a fairly one sided game I feel a bit hopeless. It's a bit of a time-sink in to something that isn't often rewarding.

But you do make a good point and maybe I need a new perspective rather than a new hobby. I'll take a wee break and have a think. Thanks for the input.

If you find it boring it's probably not for you.

Probably improving my accuracy in games but still losing quite a lot. Its not the most enjoyable feeling.

You might want to try studying with a coach. Studying with a coach seemed to improve my concentration a lot....to the point where I dont blunder nearly as much as I used to in classical games and because of that i enjoy chess a whole lot more.

Thank-you.

Don’t be too hard in yourself either. Losing is normal and is a part in the improving and growing process. I know what it is like to climb from 500 to 1300. I play in the 1600 pool on a other site.

One statistic I noticed which I hope you find encouraging is that you are winning 48% of the time with white and 43% of the time as black. That is acceptable for a 800 rated player. 

I think a break from playing for you could be helpful as you eluded too. I took a couple months off from playing very recently to actually learn and study the game. It did wonders for me and now I have abundant material to learn and play with for the rest of my life but my goal was to improve over the long haul and not a quick fix solution.

I'm not a man of violence. But if you want to be successful at chess, you need to be a cruel predator. Chess is not for me if we consider it a sport.

Just play to enjoy the game at the level you're at. If you improve, great. If not, no one is paying attention. You're always going to find opponents at your level, no matter what it is. Too, playing is not the only reason to enjoy chess. Get your favorite beverage, relax, and play over some of the games of the great masters. It's a wonderful way to pass an hour or so, and you absorb knowledge without even realizing it. Or go to YouTube and watch entertaining videos by agadmator or Gothamchess or John Bartholomew or any of the dozens of others out there. Or click on Chess TV here on chess.com and watch the streamers. Enjoying chess is way way way more than just playing and studying to get better.

Here's how you can know if it's for you.  1) It's a game.  Play a little at whatever level you're at, have some fun.  2) Find someone (spouse, parent, friend, child, stranger) tell them you have some time to help them with whatever, help them if needed.  3) Later in your own time if you feel like playing some chess, by all means do.  Or don't.

One thing I like about chess is that I do blunder a lot, but when I do I generally decide to keep fighting on (unless it's truly time to resign, another popular topic here), and that decision in the moment has had really positive application in the other "blunders" and mishaps of ordinary life.  Also, when I lose, it's a moment to give a "good game" at least a thought to the other fellow on their win, and of course on this site you can if you so choose analyze the heck out of your loss and learn something.  If only the rest of life were so easy!

I went through different phases with chess:

Fell in love with it.

Fell in love with the rating.

Thought my self worth depended on my rating.

Took a 25 year break.

Came back to chess.

Took it serious, but had no passion for it.

Finally settled into where I'm at now.  Its a game. 

The Dunning Kruger thing lost me. Surely that's some who thinks they are better than they are?

I freely admit I am not "good", I am simply saying that the experience of chess, not just the playing of games, hasn't been enjoyable. Please note I win games too and still don't find the experience of chess that enjoyable.

It's also ableist to dismiss people with disorders that impair things like focus and attention. It might perhaps take you 2 hours of study to learn an opening and commit to memory. But for someone with something like ADHD, it might take 8 or 10 hours. Can you at least understand how that might be challenging and frustrating?

I appreciate if I dedicated all of my free time and reduced my family time, told my boss that I wanted to cut my hours in work to dedicate myself to chess that I could perhaps become passable at chess. Even say I did that,  would I enjoy find any joy in chess? I am not confident I would based on my experiences to date.

They closed…

And will probably be back...

Hi! My name is Lauren Goodkind and I’m a respected  chess coach and chess YouTuber based in California: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP5SPSG_sWSYPjqJYMNwL_Q

Here's the bottom line: If you are not having fun playing chess, then chess isn't for you.  

Chess should be fun to play!