How play chess!
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Step 1: Get born into the confine of our universe (celestial being can't play; Sorry!)
Step 2: make it to the age of 5 and go to school to learn to understand words.
Step 3: Read a book on how to play.
Step 4: With your newfound knowledge use it to play chess with a standard opening like 1.e4 e5.
Step 5: Sacrifice your blonde friend so you can gain their knowledge behold and play chess like hituru makinura.
Step 6: Become grandmaster by NOT PLAYING THE LONDON SYSTEM!!!
Now enjoy being pro B)