Premium coaching for Elo 2500+ players now available!

Hey guys, I'm offering PREMIUM COACHING, but only for players with an elo score of 2500+. The cost is your elo score in GBP per minute, and sessions have a minimum fee of 8 hours.

I can teach you things like pawns move forward.

Also pieces exist only to be taken, more importantly your pieces specifically. Put all your pieces right to enemy pieces. That is how the white pieces become friends with the black pieces, when they are taken they actually go to the other pieces house for a nice cup of tea.

I am also an endgame master, with much to teach. You should move your king to middle of the board and play dogdems, because unlike the other pieces, the king has crippling anxiety and doesn't like being touched.