The battle over a central square

I'm learning that many middlegames (or perhaps the vast majority of them) have key moments when both players are fighting for control over a particular central square.  

QUESTION:

How is it discovered by both players, which square will be fought for...whether it be one which a player's pawn currently occupies, or one which neither player occupies but both are attacking?  

What's to stop one player from deciding he doesn't want to fight for that particular square and decides to fight for another instead? 

Is there a book, lecture, or other source material specifically dedicated to this aspect of the game?

Your insight is greatly appreciated!

Hi

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐲.

Play e5 if your opponent plays e4

It's too bad that this is a six-year-old thread, because I could actually answer that question.

https://www.chess.com/blog/Krish_Drake/the-hacker-of-chess-bobby-fischer

Contested squares emerge from pawn structures, plans and piece potential.