Win in 4 moves

Pe4

Pe5

Bc4

Bc5

Qh5

Nf6

Qf7

Thanks

e4 e5

Bc4 Nc6

Qh5?! g6

Alternatively (this actually happened to me once as black):

e4 e5

Bc4 Nf6

Qh5?? Nxh5

And now black develops normally, all while repeatedly attacking your queen, thus gaining a massive lead in development. Now, with all their pieces developed (meanwhile, you only have your queen and bishop out), black will absolutely clobber you. And that's if they didn't just straight up take your queen.

Have fun! And try learning a few real openings when you realize utilizing easily-refuted cheap tricks won't get you anywhere.

Learning proper chess notation takes no more than 10 minutes, and it's probably the most useful 10 minutes you can spend on chess. Absolutely worth it.

You forgot that additional disclaimer: Works only for people without a brain/have negative IQ)

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