1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

horse power

xD

6172. You think your opponents horses are trojans so you trade your queen and rook for the two trojans.

hey thats pretty good

also 5038: you spill food on mouse and the spoon does the move for you

and isnt alphazero a refrigerator company?

5039: You yell "GIRL FIGHT!" whenever a queen captures another queen.

ACTUALLY 4512. You think a knight is better than a queen because it can jump

But it is!

4514: You think 1: f3 2: g4 is the best opening moves

4515: You try over and over to move a piece that's pinned in front of your king.

That's not just limited to noobs: in the 60s a Soviet GM sacrificed everything for an attack, and when he smugly moved the knight to checkmate his opponent stopped him and pointed to the bishop hiding on c7 or something pinning the knight. In anger and frustration, he resigned

4516: You somehow end up with two bishops on the same color before the 20th move

4517: You are able to post over 100 reasons on this discussion

4518: You call knights horsies, rooks castles, and bishops witches

4519: You hire a GM to do all your games for you on chess.com

4520: You get checkmated this way

4521: You lose in 1 move

I really can't see anything wrong with rule 4518! Nothing wrong with calling knights horsies, rooks castles and bishops witches as long as you know how to move them and use them effectively

4522 (Revised 4518): You think the bishops throw potions, the rooks cant move and the knight can give other pieces a ride


Actually, those are not very bad ideas for a new variant...

6173 ( this is the actual number we're on) you spend two hours trying to find how to win in a daily game in chess.com but you are using a chessboard in real life to analyze it. suddenly your goldfish decends from the tank and lands on the your king. you widen your eyes and report the goldfish as an imposter but for some reason nobody joined the emergency meeting. you are confused and slam on your dad's bedroom to report the goldfish, you tell him what happens and he looks at you looking confused and then you realize this isn't among us so you play among us for 2 hours and forget about the game. you lose on time in the daily game.

actually good idea.

number 4517 isnt true

6174. You keep saying "I am the best chess player." but blunder your queen within 20 moves