When I was young my uncle showed me a position from his chess magazine where a player promoted his pawn to a bishop so he could practice the king + 2 bishop vs king checkmate.
Too late, he realized both his bishops were on the same color squares and this checkmate would not work.
He also told me the joke about the famous player who was going to play "blind" [without seeing the board-just using his memory.] His opponent asked "Do you mind if I use a smaller set of pieces?
Last week I went to visit my friend Mack. He and his dog were playing chess. I watched long enough to see that the dog was actually playing, then said "That is the smartest Dog I've ever met."
Mack said "Not really. I'm beating him 3 out of every 4 games."
Shortest I can think of: "Black starts"