Best Chess jokes?

blindmewithscience

Looking for some humor in the world of black and white (pieces)! :)

SystematiChaos

blindmewithscience

:)

protege007

I get the Republican, Marxist, and Desegregated Chess. 

I missed the point of the Atheist board. No bishops, hmmm??

blindmewithscience

Bishop=Religious leader in Catholicism

chasm1995

Could somebody explain the marxist one?

blindmewithscience

Marx was a communist. In communism, everyone recieves equal pay and everyone is equal. Therefore, all pieces are equal (as pawns) in marxist chess.

darkener
chasm1995 wrote:

Could somebody explain the marxist one?

All pieces are equal. Regarding the quantity and ability, a classless society.

blindmewithscience

A man was walking in the park when he came upon another man playing chess with his dog. He declared, " Geez, that's a smart dog you have!" To which the dog owner replied, " Not really, I am ahead three games to one. 

blindmewithscience

Found this in an older forum:


A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."

baskar_chess

These are good ones, thanks :)

GambitExtraordinaire
ShowPao wrote:

Found this in an older forum:


A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first." 
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."

This is a great one.

fireflies808

lol

GMVillads

dogladyofparker

Loved it ! made me laugh.  Thanks for sharing

simonschtweezers

LOL

Mainline_Novelty

So, I had Garry Kasparov over for dinner last night. The problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth, and it took him two hours to pass the salt.

blindmewithscience

Thanks for the great jokes!

chesskenabe

I often imagine this joke in my mind as if it might have actually  happened:

Dr. Emmanuel Lasker world chess champion was a good friend of Albert Einstein, who enjoyed a casual game of chess.  When Lasker played an informal game with the great scientist everyone wanted to know how good he plays.  Lasker replied, "He's good, but he's no Einstein!"

Skaro7

Why did the king make bad decisions?

He was always surrounded by chessmen.