So I'm not going to pretend that there isn't other chess sites on the internet (please don't hurt me chess.com!). I recently decided to take on my identity on this new site Mr. Boring.
The following is a satirical reflection of my new style. These statements may be incredibly false but they are merely to reflect an interesting mindset. Here is my doctorine on playing as Mr. Boring:
1. Rating is just a reflection on how many mistakes you make. Initiative and attempting to play dynamic chess is just a fool's method of his own demize. Draws increase my rating regardless of the rating of my opponent. The only reason to win a game is to increase my rating more.
2. My heart is very weak and I do not desire to have any excitement of any kind because such nonsense could cause adverse affects to my overall health.
3. Whenever possible I will close the position and trade off pieces that are as good as my opponent's or even slightly better. As white I will play d4 and f4 as often as possible and d5 and f5 as black as often as possible. Although the rest of the pawn structure is important to present as an unstopable wall, the center is the foremost priority.
4. I will never sac a piece unless there is no speculation required and it is immediately reclaimed. Gambits are a fool's vice and are merely a sign of immaturity and lack of discipline.
5. In order to become the best player I can be I must renounce any desire to play interesting positions what-so-ever and attempt to consider such positions as encumbersome.
6. Although consider draws very fufilling, I still desire to win. If I gain an advantage of any kind I will attempt to convert that advantage to a victory in as slow and precise manner as possible.