ha ha ha!
Chess joke
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I have yet to ever hear a good chess joke. I dont think its actually possible.
plz say
True(ish) story!
Excerpt from "Memoirs of an ex-world chess champion".
"I was playing in a tournament in Germany one year when a man approached me. Thinking he just wanted an autograph, I reached for my pen, when the man made a startling announcement....
'I've solved chess!'
I sensibly started to back away in case the man was dangerous as well as insane, but the man continued:
'I'll bet you 50 marks that if you come back to my hotel room I can prove it to you.'
Well, 50 marks was 50 marks, so I humored the fellow and accompanied him to his room.
Back at the room, we sat down at his chess board.
'I've worked it all out, white mates in 12 no matter what.'
I played with black perhaps a bit incautiously, but I found to my horror that white's pieces coordinated very strangely, and that I was going to be mated on the 12th move!
I tried again, and I played a completely different opening that couldn't possibly result in such a position, but after a series of very queer-looking moves, once again I found my king surrounded, with mate to fall on the 12th move. I asked the man to wait while I ran downstairs and fetched Emmanuel Lasker, who was world champion before me. He was extremely skeptical, but agreed to at least come and play. Along the way we snagged Alekhine, who was then world champion, and the three of us ran back up to the room.
Lasker took no chances, but played as cautiously as could be, yet after a bizarre, pointless-looking series of maneuvers, found himself hemmed in a mating net from which there was no escape. Alekhine tried his hand, too, but all to no avail.
It was awful! Here we were, the finest players in the world, men who had devoted our very lives to the game, and it was all over! The tournaments, the matches, everything - chess had been solved, white wins.
About this time Capa's friends would break in, saying
"Wait a minute, I never heard anything about all this! What happened?"
Why, we killed him, of course."
yeah, true ive heard that before and its fairly funny,
Though its more the idea of a WC trolling the press that I thought was funny rather than the joke itself.
if you put this in a modern setting, starting a new thread on here, the funny thing is that quite a few will believe it 
a bit of a silly joke because it should be obvious that white has no forced mate in 12. make it mate in 37 and more people might believe it
see ?
Oct 29, 2012
0
#11
Nah. The queen crossed the road to get a divorce from the king and claim her share of his wealth: 8 chess pieces.
the jokes are getting good!
Why didn't the pawn cross the road?
It got captured en passant.
(Jokes aren't getting good any longer).
we noticed!
What do you get if you cross a rook with a pawn?
A capture.
What did the black bishop say to the king after castling in a King's indian Defense ?
I was a beginner playing in my first tournament, a duffer's tournament. Before the second round game, my opponent proudly mentioned that he had just learned to checkmate with two bishops. Sure enough, at the end of our game, he had a king, bishop, and pawn against my lone king. He was about to queen his pawn. "If you are so sure you can checkmate with two bishops, why don't you prove it and promote to a bishop instead?" I challenged. He took me up on my challenge. Problem was, the bishops were on the same color.
If your desperate, play the Dod Gambit. That is where you jump up, grab the board, scatter all the pieces, and yell "DOD GAMBIT!"
Why did the queen cross the road?
To defend the king.