chess rap

GuardianofKing you chokin' on flow

Missed my passed pawn

Distracted playin Pokemon Go

Not judging nor begrudgingly budging 

Like Game of Thrones I seen your King kissin his cousin

While me, I be fleeing from my Cousins

Rackin up assists per game in the dozens

Heir to his Airness petition the unfairness

Your lack of awareness got you starin' at a 64 square chess mess

But I could care less

I digress in an attempt to impress

One thing you said was accurate

I do got a slanted flair for dramatics

That literally made no sense

Beautiful

Ugh, rap music is so beastly and horrid. Typical rubbish from the colonies.You chaps should do yourself a favour and listen to some Mozart string quartets. They're really quite delightful.

You must have missed the whole American Independence with the Revolutionary War. In other words, although you wanted to control the land, the more dominant people defeated you and control it instead. Rap music is great. Rhythm and poetry. For you to call rhythm and poetry rubbish only betrays your ignorance or lack of culture.

Same thing happened to you chaps in Vietnam I seem to recall.

"Come as you are
Come just like you be
It's the bumps and curves of our history
But no block in the road that we can't traverse
And no wounds from the past that can't be nursed

All hate gonna to dissipate from our fate
No check, together we got a checkmate
All hate gonna dissipate and fade away
To make room for a brand new day we got... One World" by tobyMac

Vietnam has nothing to do with you calling the United States of America colonies or coming into a positive thread about chess rap that you can clearly see is about rap and then posting your disparaging rubbish comments to violate the policy of relevant, helpful and nice. If you have failed to appreciate rap, then a thread about having fun with chess rap is not the place to come and post about it.

If your only reason for being here is to post your unneeded opinoins...I think it best you leave.

Well I think your rhymes made scents...

reminiscent of excrement

I'd school you but you lack my classes prerequisites

I'm explicit, exquisite, and maybe on parent's day you can come visit

"literally" your littler than me

and ignorantly inarticulate 

harrassin me with the fallacy 

of confusin' your own inadequacy for my inaccuracy

It's over yer head

but maybe yer just short

 The lyrical potency of RONDO

king of the board and court

In case y'all didn't notice this was meant to be funny

Since when do Americans get offended from being called colonies?

Brexit's the real joke but we won't get into that

Get your panties out of a bunch, this is friggin rap!

Badeebadabba's no stranger, he's been complimentin the swag

He ain't hatin, he just flies a different flag

Dry humor's the status quo in that once great empire

So leave the debates for blokes titled esquire

And P.S. Mozart is a man I too am quite fond of

My favorite of his musical forms...no doubt it's RONDO!

Ain't no panties in a bunch over here unless your girl left them.

No debate, just checked your guy 'cause he ain't come correct.

I know all about lettin' blokes with esquire at the end of their names sort 'em out. More than I want to know and we can leave it at that.

wow, I need to delete the thought that just came to my head.

In chess flags don't fly

It,s just da skill of da Playah

If you win or U die

I could hoist red, white and blue

Of Norway or USA

But I'll let my game

Stay on the board

No messy bravado

As I advance my horde

Into your camp

Dispensing yo Queen

Distracting yo ponies

In their stables they SLEEPIN,

I rush into they barn

And cut short their sweet dreaming

Be the end of the night

4 yo King and his minions

Post a win 4 JayBo

Now I rule yo Dominion!

my knowledge of the openings is gaining steady

my e4 and d4 are ready, Knight-f3's Reti

dudes avoid playing me, whenever they're able

cause i like a second game, of footsies, under the table

my reactions are spastic, my attacks Spassky-esque

patzers playing hackneyed chess, to them I do not acquiesce

advantage never relinquish, your plan does not work

and so i give it the pink slip, you big fat jerk

i'm fat too, eat a charred salami, two live wallabees and a canned ant colony for brunch

then slovenly devour a mocha-choco tower of a cake and mahi mahi as appetizers for lunch.

i got bars of candy, snicker, i got bars i spit for learnin kids

i got bars fulla liquor and i got barred from chess tournaments

stole the trophy boldly, broke it over my knee

holy moly cried a lady of seventy three

i held it up defiantly so everyone'd see

got tackled by a cop and tased directly between the cheeks

why oh why did i take their prize?

it must have been some savage's eyes

poppin off under the alias juice brooks:

assailing salient alien mailing paper from loose books

pilfering pomegranate, i ran into pomeranz

sequestered we jested bout giving hell to michelle obama fans

suggested drew shake off the honks and booing bronx bomber fans

you can push us to the play in game, and even be the starter man

gasses spew like tricklin molasses, from my bum, after gulpin chicken

and dumplings, pumping tremendous pressure to my dumper

it festers, im rippin flatulence next to a dumpster filled of rotten clumps

of gushing garbage toppling over, mountains of fecal...it doesnt matter

sitting in a pile of excrement, not all of which

is my own, creating a new biome, need a biohazard dome, slick

so get on it - hey arent you the guy that tased me

when i wanted to compete in a tournament, bravely?

"Yes it's me, and i could have predicted

you would end up addicted to jenkum you twisted..."

say no more! leave me to my brown wigwam

i constructed over months, oh yes it keeps me warm

"You vile, grotesque..." the cop continued

but i wistfully ignored and withdrawed into my igloo of poo

i played in it a while, like a babe in a sandbox

garbage grew too high, now i am landfill landlocked

pants been long lost, i'm just alone and confused

like those who play me in chess, my ego's been bruised

Shot a man in Reno with a fianchetto
Took him by a rook's edge
He got a trattato by Gioachino I been usin' as a door wedge.

It's Arabian Nights and I'm with the King of thieves robbin' millions

Aladdin

We'll raid em with knights after we drop c3 on sicilians

Alapin 

Make our escape usin' public transit

"Driver! pull over quick and lemme off"

We don't make mistakes vs. Queen's gambit

A survivor's compsure, c6 semi-slav

Panaka's talkin the brothers Lopez

Robbin and Brook

But when it comes to there cousin Ruy

His face draws a startled look

He's a pawn down and doubled on the c-file

"But I broke your bish pair"

He mumbles in an attempt to reconcile

These variations are standardized

Yet tears still well up in his puzzled eyes

I'm comfortably castled -- slid my rook to e1

He struggles to develop -- this game's already won

My pawns keep puhsing -- thorns in his side

He hopes to control f2 with his bish on c5

My spawn structure is superior

I just wait, as for Panaka, defeat grows nearer 

Awesome rap.....

As the battle Rajon, ya boy getting destroyed,

Blast Nimzo-Indian missiles and annoy you in the Ruy,

With fidgety bishops I find joy to deploy,

Double pawns worth the pair, oh dear, you're so coy

A wild endgame, barely holding intact,

With the bishop pair rolling, discover double attacks,

Knight stretched, can't hold, now I'm falling apart,

Gotta kick the board over and resign with a fart