Seriously?
Rap sucks all on its own. So why would anyone want to add something that sucks just as bad?
Fouttahere son
Yory Gregovich, name sounding like a grandmaster
check ratings, oh well, you're nothing but a bad patzer
I thrash slackers who only listen to rock, like dumb backpackers
call me a mad hacker, but I don't think you have the guts
My bars killed jimi, when I was spitting from my fathers nuts
Lol excellent
Im like fisher and carlen combined you take my rook now your queen is mine finally you resign look i dont need my rook on the 7th for you to call it swine when i am winning you leave and waste my time. You did not see the sign that chess is not your sport because all you do is whine.
Your position is Tuna Melt
Save those ridiculous gambles for the felt
Look! My rook is so bored, he's knitting a quilt
In a wet bog was your pawn structure built?
Tactical plans that dissolve almost by themselves;
You'll never see a game of yours on respected chess bookshelves
My queen slaps you with her titty tassles
Hassling you cause your dumb-ass never castled
Crass, you haphazardly straddle disaster
Callous, I laugh and set traps to clasp ever-faster
I promote to horse, until a cavalrous fleet
engulfs your position and clinches the meet
Olympian rooks dubiously perched
as your King solemnly continues to search
For haven or ally, but yet I say "NO"
All he'll encounter is havoc and foe
Your position is Tuna Melt
Save those ridiculous gambles for the felt
Look! My rook is so bored, he's knitting a quilt
In a wet bog was your pawn structure built?
Tactical plans that dissolve almost by themselves;
You'll never see a game of yours on respected chess bookshelves
My queen slaps you with her titty tassles
Hassling you cause your dumb-ass never castled
Crass, you haphazardly straddle disaster
Callous, I laugh and set traps to clasp ever-faster
I promote to horse, until a cavalrous fleet
engulfs your position and clinches the meet
Olympian rooks dubiously perched
as your King solemnly continues to search
For haven or ally, but yet I say "NO"
All he'll encounter is havoc and foe
One of best ones in this thread so far imo.
Nice lines Panaka, I like the crass and callous lines lol
I gotta step my game up, here's a more developed position in a chess rhyme I posted earlier...
I know this isn’t kind hearted
but that last move was retarded
A blunder that plunged your
queen 6 feet under
Now she’s regarded as departed
Halfhearted your hopes
Uncharted and remote
The chance that I blow
this position
Bombard me with smoke
And pray that I choke
Disrupting my focus flow
man, keep wishing
You pose no opposition
Exposing weaknesses
Composing compositions
Behold me witnesses
Imploding all suspicions
I’ll show you what greatness is
But here is my condition
That the final incision
Made under my supervision
Is the submission
Of a victorious transcription
Given your hapless status
Do the Robert E Lee
At Appomattox
Sign the treaty
Or get your ass kicked
Resist hesitation
And in the name of the Chess Federation
Submit your Resignation!
Should I even have to speak?
Or just let the pieces do the talking
I got my eyes on your king
He is the one I’m stalking
I watch him while he sleeps
and I watch him whilst he changes
The only obsession I keep
under max surveillance
So tell me this
What have you got to say
if anything at all
Maybe next time you shouldn’t play
the reincarnation of Mikhail Tal
Let these lessons marinate
til next you doth participate
Calmly interrupted by other player
“Hey asshole…checkmate”
this is c-rap not rap.
"Let me DRAW a picture to depict my tale, mate;
I had this clown down 'til he forced a stalemate!"
These were the words of my Australian date,
Met on chess.com, I Zwischenzugged in her face.
My bishop slid in from above, acrobatically aerial
The other dudes she's played had insufficient material
Stormed her rebel base with forces very Imperial
I loosened her position like milk poured into cereal
I had to get romantic to keep our love steamin'
I lit some candles and a bath was drawn by agreement
But she was schemin', my Sheila, she didn't trust me yet
So she had my cellphone in a perpetual check
In a craze she attacked me, to injure me was her mission
Hacked at me with some scissors, blood drew by repetition
"Please stop!" I screamed. "Let's settle this O-T-B."
She obliged, in some erotic chess player's fantasy
She laid the stakes: "If you win you can have me."
I pondered not at all and said, "Accepted gladly!"
I knew losing this game I could never tolerate
But even I was shocked when I induced Scholar's mate
Then she agreed to let other chicks in our "love gang"
And ladies flocked from all around to check out my Zugzwang
I call that one "Half-A-Point"
you offered my 13 different draw, but then I saw a clear win, and proved not resigning was a sin.
When we playin 2v2 I spawn my army.While I signal your wife to call me!
Just because you up a queen don't mean ur winnin once I spawn mine back in to the game you better be callin me Zues cause I'll make your blood rain while you sit there looking at the game in bain and vain ill be looking at you thinking oh how lame.
Oh look I got a call from your wife wait let me re-phrase that EX-WIFE.Was she your life?Oh how sad really bad lad,but for me its rad *RING RING*Look its your dad hes congratulating me for beating you bad!Now lets play one more round of Bughouse before your drugged spuse calls me to her funhouse.
(In the 'You're Banned' forum game, in response to g-man 15 rapping with gledz . . .)
Yo, g-man-one-five, you R soundin' 2 jive,
You kickin' it with Mr. g.l.e.d.-Z,
But you now in a cloud cuz U 4got about me,
Yeah, it's the JayBo man come to trip up your plan,
I just pinned your Queen against your sorry King's ass,
You got a comeback, One-Five? I think your heyday is past,
Yer floatin', yer chokin' on my Kingside attack
And now I really don't think that you will ever get back
To the day in the sun when you thought you were hot
And maybe hip to the trip, but Yo, now you R shot
Shot like a drive-by by my Bishop, *pop-pop!*
Yo' Queen-ho's a goner, she couldn't take it no longah,
So I ban you right here and I send her to heaven
Your bee-a#*ch iz toast, she layin' dead on g7!!!
Here's a verse that I wrote on another thread. Technically it's not about chess, but it's on a different topic that is just as important to chess.com. Here it is:
http://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/this-is-the-topic-about-my-awesomeness
Post #4. It was a response to the OP's lame verse. Apparently I murdered him so bad he couldn't even respond.