Signs you're a bad chess player

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ROOKe281

wow this made absolutely no sense but hey to each his own right. lol

yourmindillusions

when you let the other player  control your moves then your a bad chess player

Javan64

When your DOG beats you!

jtt96
madhacker wrote: Here's one that really happened to me, not made up. I was analysing an OTB game I had played with Fritz. The computer looked at the position for a couple of seconds, then played a move which I had considered but decided against, and announced mate in 25. Wow! Great story!
Javan64

You might be a bad chessplayer if:

Bobby Fisher beats you (today)!!

Kolob68

You break out your magic 8-ball and it tells you "Not right now".

stubborn_d0nkey

You know you are a bad chess player when you usually win through mate on the 4th move

 

 

madhacker wrote:

Here's one that really happened to me, not made up.

I was analysing an OTB game I had played with Fritz. The computer looked at the position for a couple of seconds, then played a move which I had considered but decided against, and announced mate in 25.


I'm jealous!                                                                                Of your computer!

vowles_23
Kolob68 wrote:

You break out your magic 8-ball and it tells you "Not right now".


Best one to date! LOL!!

sanan22

you move your king to b1 and rock to c1 when you castle queenside.

you're annoyed by 'the never played b4 moves' in the opening phase and can't punish them

your c2 square is always weak and you lose your rock to knight fork almost every game.

you don't see your king is in check if your apponent doesn't say 'check'

you think bongcloud is the best opening

you post videos on youtube saying 'the computer cheated' when there are like 500 videos about the same thing, which is basically a rule you don't know.

before beginning a match on the board you ask your apponent "one move or two moves?"

you think you can push 2 pawns one square and that counts as one move

frrixz

You try to castle using your king and opponent's rook or vice versa.

Javan64

How many of these posts are actually "voices of experience"?

yourmindillusions
[COMMENT DELETED]
soothsayer8
Charanjit2921 wrote:

when i go anxious ... it shows


That can't be a legal position...

;P

azziralc
MyCowsCanFly wrote:

Signs you are a bad chess player:

You like to compare chess to war, American football, and bingo. You thought "j'doube" was a chapter in the Kama Sutra. You are convinced a fundamental truth about the Universe is revealed in how a knight moves.  You believe if you could figure out how the number 42 applies, you could solve chess. You continually find items to add to the list of signs you are a bad chess player.  You've just made a move that has never been played before in 500 years of chess. Based on your play, chess program developers have added a new, lower level called, "Oops." You notice if the number assigned to your chess forum post is interesting. You often use the word "dubious." You were dissappointed to learn "average" doesn't mean "normal." You make up your own pronunciations of the last names of chess legends. You've painted smiley faces on your pawns. You are working on your own chess variant in which friendly pieces and pawns can occupy the same square. The bishops have you stumped. In another variant, a pawn can promote to yet another King. You think Fischer 960 should be called something like "herFisc 960." You also play checkers and have invented a variant, Checkers 960. Your rating goals are based on historical dates. Your ultimate goal is to reach 1776. You are currently somewhere in the Bronze Age. You've considered hating Jews but can't figure out how that will help your chess game. You've decided to move to Iceland instead. This forum made absolutely no sense to you.

Agreed on what you've said!

zman1234

More signs you're a bad chess player:

1.You only join chess club for the parties.

2. You resign after the first move because you don't know what your plan is.

3.You can't seem to beat your imaginary friend.

beardogjones

Sign you are a bad chessplayer:

     You  qualify for the WorldChampionship qualifiers

but turn the offer down, because you have to do your hair that week.

chessdude46

You're opponent allows you to make 10 moves before he does, and you still lose.

corpsporc

You are proud that you solved your first chess puzzle and quit forever since the achievement is monumental.  The puzzle was a mate in zero.

blake78613

You like to fianchetto your rooks and use the word noob.

chessdude46

You always listen to chessdude46 when you need chess advice.