Javan64 wrote:
When your DOG beats you!
I beat my dog...3 to 1! 
Signs you're a bad chess player
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I was shocked there has a 1! ahaha
Why? Is your father don't know chess?
nyLsel wrote:
Why? Is your father don't know chess?
:D:D:D:D what a perfect english!!!!
No! No! Not another grammar-nazi!
Your chess teacher tells you about the x-ray attack and you bring a radiation suit to your next game.
chessdude46 wrote:
You're opponent allows you to make 10 moves before he does, and you still lose.
You think that's legal.
@Kolob68 5 stars!
You see yourself on America's Most Wanted for atrocities committed on a chessboard.
Oct 24, 2011
0
#513
Kolob68 wrote:
Your chess teacher tells you about the x-ray attack and you bring a radiation suit to your next game.
Originality, horrah!
I'm sorry for the wrong grammar, but why are you laughing?
Signs you are a bad chess player:
- You are not reluctant to give up the bishop pair for what you perceive to be a small positional gain. For example, in the Ruy Lopez Exchange Variation, you gladly give up the bishop pair for what might be a winning pawn structure in the end game.
- You re not reluctant to exchange both bishops for knights to prevent your opponent from castling.
- You like to visualize how knights coordinate in attacking squares when they are located near each other, perhaps on the diagonal, horizontal, or vertical...with a separating square.
- You use to talk to your pieces until you thought you heard the knight whisper something to the rook.
- You still don't understand what Fischer meant when he said, "Chess is like a can of chili."
The only games you won are when you took "convenient" bathroom breaks.
corpsporc wrote:
The only games you won are when you took "convenient" bathroom breaks.
LOL.
If you look to this forum for new stategies.
You're a bad chess player if:
You think that your knights are in love.
You think that knights can't capture because they have chivalry.
You think you're smart because you fall for the scholar's mate.
You theorize that the initial positioning of pieces is defensively ideal, so you alternate between 1 Na3 ... 2 Nb1 ...
You think that you can promote a pawn into a king and sacrifice the other one.
You make sound effects when you move your knight.
You think that a king vs. king endgame can be won.
You think that the king should nobly rush out to the middle of the board to challenge the other king to a duel to decide who wins the game.
You think that forks mean that it's dinnertime.
When you hear the word skewer you think shishkabob.
If you move your pawns backwards.
You call one of your knights "Day."
If your pieces "eat" your opponents pieces rather than capture them.
If your queen decides to kill her husband to gain life insurance money.
If you think that your pieces have life insurance.
If you drop the pieces that you lost onto the board and call them zombies.
If you turn a rook into a queen after your original queen gets captured, claiming that the king remarried.
If you think that having more than one queen on the board is bigamy.
If you chant "Rooky! Rooky!" during a king + rook vs king endgame.
If you use the phrase "chess rooks."
If your first move as white is 1 Kxd1.
If you put a flag on the top of your rook.
If you queen your pawn on the square i1.
If you call your pawns princesses.
If you think that the fool's mate doesn't deserve it's name.
If you sign up for participation ribbons instead of tournaments.
If your king falls over while your making your first move: a3.
If you dub your king "Super King" with the power to jump over the tallest pieces and move farther than the most ideally placed queen.
If, when you get checkmated, you create a distraction and place your king somewhere else where it can be captured.
You are not sport in game because you've never experience to win..