Ketchup is what a you put on a Brazilian crumpet.
You place it in your mouth. You clench down, real hard...like an alligator would. And, then you eat it.
Signs you're a bad chess player
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When you have 56 queens and still are losing
Jul 11, 2012
0
#1784
A bottle of ketchup quit after it's first game, it couldn't cut the mustard...
Actually Blessed, White has a move with the rook.
when you forgot to stop for lunch
...and dinner.
One sign of a really bad chess player. They keep coming to this thread and saying stuff like: "Holy mackerel, is this thread still running?!"
...when this is how your game begins:
Crazychessplaya wrote:
...when this is how your game begins:
probably the only case where a ?? comes before the first move
Hey! that's how I open! Are you saying....
Jul 11, 2012
0
#1792
You: Fine. You buy whole grain this time but next time I'm buying potato chips..
Opponent: We aren't snacking either!
Your punishment for being a bad chess player is that you'll be sent to have a chat with this guy: 
And, this is what he will turn you into:
...when the only opponent you manage to defeat repeatedly is Jerry the Mouse:
He looks so cute & cuddly... but he's got a few tricks up his sleeve.
How does Bert's pigeon compare to Jerry the mouse? I know it plays checkers so its quite possible it plays chess too.
It makes a mess on the board.
Just for a contrast, here's what a really good chess player (someone on Bobby Fischer's level) looks like after years and years and years and years of 14 hour days of study and practice:
1. What's a bottle of ketchup rated?
2. Did it get there by doing mostly tactics?