Worst Excuses for Losing

I played against a born again christian who thought I was a bad Satan. Between moves, I had to listen to a diatribe about not really being bad but just being unforgiven. It got so bad after a while that I had to resign to get away. It was then that I realized who the real bad Satan was.

I lost because my opponent beat me up after I said that Donald Trump has so far done a good job as president.

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

i lost because i used stockfish 8, while you used stockfish 9

I lost because I played a friend from Russia online, but Putin came in through my computer ports and told me to resign so I could kill trump.  So I did.  The problem is, when he left, he took my Magnum!

Winning a chess game is copyrighted by Starbucks, so it's illegal for me to win unless I pay $15,000 beforehand for EACH time I win. And I can't afford to win even once, so I always lose.

Mai mummy and daddy sez dat loozingg iz winningg

Don‘t be liying of making me laugh! That is not true! Sorry that is not an excuse (what I just said).

Who ever said?

please leave out any politics

ok

I lost because I left in politics

lol where did someone say any politics?

I lost because I wanted to. I could have beat you, but I didn't feel like winning

The person I quoted.

I was disqualified because the moderator mistook a joke for actual politics.

"Helpmate buddies!"

So in the politics the are no jokes allowed.

I lost because the government arrested me for brushing my teeth at lunch.

I lost because I was too busy reading this forum.

*before lunch