5 EASY secrets that will make YOU a bullet LEGEND!!

First off, let’s take care of my qualification. While I could scream about my games, my incredible victories, or my titles, I like to let my games scream how great I AM rather than ME screaming about how great MY GAMES are.

Also, I am rated 3400 on my main account (don’t bother checking - I didn’t verify my email address, so it won’t show up in the rankings) NOT a mere 1800 (HA! What a thought!) as this account may lead the slow-witted to believe.

Now that I have established my credibility, let us move on to the secrets that I am going to unlock for all of you - COMPLETELY FREE! However, I accept gift memberships.

SECRET #1:

Play at least 50 games at a time. How are you going to win if you don’t warm up for a while first?

SECRET #2:

Converse with others while playing. Exerting all your concentration on one game will only tire you out and you won’t make it past the warm up. You MUST talk with others, listen to music, sip a cup of hot tea, and RELAX YOUR MIND while playing.

SECRET #3:

If you are playing an even or slightly lost position, offer a draw and wait. As your time runs down, your opponent will feel guilt-ridden as “x offered a draw” sits in the chat box. 5 seconds... 3 seconds.... they will ALWAYS accept the draw, take my word for it.

SECRET 4:

Play VERY SLOWLY and make sure that you DON’T make any mistakes. If you lose a pawn, you may as well resign. There is no point in continuing to play if you have lost a pawn, because you are obviously going to lose. You are wasting time in a hopeless game that you could be using to WIN GAMES and POINTS.

SECRET 5:

Always play on your phone, or as small of a board as possible, and preferably a touch screen. After all, how can you move your curser ALL the way across a HUGE board fast enough to BEAT your opponents? You can’t. Tiny touch screens minimize misclicks and errors, and they help you to see tactics and WIN GAMES.

So now, you will become a bullet LEGEND! If you want to practice these 5 tips, challenge me to 1|0 rated any time you see me in live.

Funny :)

0/10 

Try again

Didn't even bothered to read beyond a sentence...meh.I knew it already!

Oh come on, a zero? 

He gave it a good shot I feel.

LOLOLOLOLOL

My moody muzzled mouse moves much more meanderingly most May murky Mondays.

You'll be a legend, all right. A legendary ratings-points ATM!

of what I can see, you are rated exactly 1851. And I can see your rating, so I succeeded in checking

@stewardjandstewardj This was meant to be a joke.

Is your name Sherlock Holmes? 😮

It's extremely obvious to me

XD I do that a lot sorry

I always have a hard time noticing sarcasm, especially online lol

So cute..aww :)

um....OK then?