A love/hate relationship with chess?

I find that I have a love/hate relationship with chess. I love that chess is the closest I can get to a game for the ages... over 500 years old... it is truly a noble game... the game of our ancestors... a game based purely on skill... I love how any improvement in my understanding of chess can increase my chances of winning... I love that feeling of victory... and, very, very rarely I get to feel something deeper, something more profound, a chess-induced euphoria (Siduri's kiss)...

However, on the flip side, after each loss, I hate myself... I see myself losing to simple tactics that I practiced quickly spotting, hour after hour, over and over again, to see in the minimum amount of time... but still, on occasion, in the heat of battle... I fall victim to that simple tactic and it turns the tide of battle against me. In that moment I hate myself, and in that moment I hate chess...

But what can I do? Like an abusive lover, I also love chess, and I force myself to use this pain as a lesson... use the agony of defeat to burn a painful tactical maneuver into my mind so I will never forget it... I vow to never again be the victim of this tactic... I try to use my pain for good... Try to channel my hate into improving myself... improving my chess... I doubt I am the only one who feels this way... There must others like me... others who both love and hate this ancient game... others who love and hate chess...

Its not chess you have a love hate relationship with...its yourself.

DrJamesB, I also have this feeling.

You are not alone.

Chess is an extremely frustrating game.

I find that most my losses come from a lack of focus in key moments -- not necessarily from the other person being better than me. And most people who are better, simply have studied more. Pure intellectual ability, talent, creativity, and ingenuity often have little to do with who becomes a better player -- unlike in most other disciplines.

I find this a very frustrating reality of chess.

On the other hand, chess is a game of great depth. There is always more to learn about the game. More to see and more to try. There is a rich history in chess that goes beyond the game itself. Looking at the way the game has evolved, and the great battles between chess minds, you can see it's just as much a social game as an intellectual one.

Somehow, competitive chess has great anthropological value.

Because of all this, I can't simply turn away from it.

Sincerely,

DrCheckevertim

P.S. May I recommend you add an avatar to your account?

Chess is a type of game where alot of people go about it the wrong way. I am  not highly rated, and wouldn't waste my time with memorization of openings. I prefer to concentrate on the the endgame, and tactics. Chess960 seems to be a better game.

Where are you getting this forum from? It's 11 years old!!

Every chess player, regardless of skill level, goes through similar experiences.

the euphoria of getting that satisfying checkmate makes you forget all the hate tho

I love to hate it!...