u choose.
woman or chess
for me it is definately woman
Addicted to Chess?!?!
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Addictions can involve most anything. Chemical addictions are the most common, but gambling addiction is also a very serious thing that has destroyed many bank accounts, lives, marriages, and families. Noxxion, it sounds to me like you enjoy your wife more than Fiveofswords thinks you do. You have recognized a problem, after all. The truth is, ANYTHING can be a "bad thing" to be addicted to.
We are all subject to addictions of diverse types. Many people are addicted to online gaming, MMORPG's, or pornography. A few years ago, I was nearing "addiction" to online chatting. It was starting to get out of hand and beginning to wreck my life. It takes much discipline to break. Please set a time limit of no more than, say, 1 hour of chess a day, no matter what! You may have to eliminate chess entirely, at least for a while, until the addictive feeling passes. But please don't even think about choosing chess over your marriage. No chess game is worth that!
Well considering improvement. I noticed that all of your recent games have been blitz, with the most recent one being a nice KID game looking at which gave me the impression that you already have a good grasp of theory for your level. Maybe you should take a break from blitz and and play just one or two games a day with longer time-controls. Or perhaps take a chess holiday and start a few correspondence games that you'd check out every few days. Sometimes a little distance helps you with the overall picture.
And ofcourse there's always Chessaholics Anonymous
Your ability at the game is a non-issue. It doesn't matter how good or bad a grasp of any aspect of the game you have, if your marriage is in jeopardy. As I said before, you might try alternative methods of playing chess, like those suggested by bjazz, but be prepared to give up the game entirely, if necessary. The d-word is taboo in our house. I would find a way to walk to the moon and back if it meant keeping my wonderful wife by my side forever.
Try time boxing ... limit the chess games to an hour or so each day and then cut-off. The other activity is likely to be more enjoyable (after some more practice)
If you think it is interfering with having a healthy lifestyle, then establish some boundaries for yourself. It is probably a good idea to get your wife's input into what your chess time limits should be. Chess is interesting, stimulating, engaging and all that but at the end of the day, it is just a game.
Decide what role it can play in your life and still be a fun healthy activity that does not interfere with those other things that are more important.
learn to manage your Bishop both in the bedroom and on the chessboard.
Play only against your wife from now on, and add the following rule: every time that you lose a pawn, you have to take off an article of clothing. And every time you lose a piece, well... you get the picture.
waltermacioe wrote:
If you think it is interfering with having a healthy lifestyle, then establish some boundaries for yourself. It is probably a good idea to get your wife's input into what your chess time limits should be. Chess is interesting, stimulating, engaging and all that but at the end of the day, it is just a game.
Decide what role it can play in your life and still be a fun healthy activity that does not interfere with those other things that are more important.
This is excellent advice. Fiveofswords, with all due respect, your comments are understandable, but they are entirely wrong, because you don't seem to understand what it feels like to approach an addiction of this nature. Non-chemical things like chess and other online gaming can affect the brain in chemical ways. Certain activities that many people find completely innocuous can affect the level of dopamine in the brain; this is just one factor. I have experienced a feeling of things getting out of control from gaming and chatting too much online, and it is different from doing something you highly enjoy, looking at the clock, and saying, "Whoa, I played that for how long?"
If Noxxion really didn't care about his wife, as you seem to suspect, then he wouldn't have begun this thread in the first place. On the other hand, if he were avoiding his wife by doing many different things, not just playing chess, then you might be on to something. But addictions to gaming, gambling, etc. are very real things.
The real issue here is that he is not about to be dumped by some "woman." His wife threatened to cry divorce, which makes it a much more serious issue. Noxxion, you should be willing to do whatever it takes to fix this. You sound, to me, as if you still love your wife very much. That demonstrates where you want your priorities to be; now, just follow through.
Noxxion wrote:
trust me, my wife is enjoyable
If you really treat chess like your wife, you will not bother about ups and downs in the chess and you will start enjoying purely for playing.
:)
Chess is the greatest game in the world. Unless she's the greatest woman in the world, the choice is clear.
Campione wrote:
Chess is the greatest game in the world. Unless she's the greatest woman in the world, the choice is clear.
God, I hope you're joking...? O.o
There are many add-ons that will limit your online time if you're using firefox. Worth checking out.
If you truly want to keep your wife, then start doing things with her. If you take her out somewhere, you won't be playing chess (leave the app at home).You may find that you like the time with her more than chess - at least online chess.
Contrary to what others have said, there are definate chemical triggers for activities such as gambling and chess. If you can't break the cycle by yourself, as your wife for help. Barring that, seek professional help if you think it's a serious enough problem.
You get less than 4-6 hours of sleep a night? Yeah your wife is important blah blah blah but you should quit chess for health reasons... more time to sleep :p
How can I quit!?
First of all, I'm not improving, I'm simply playing to hope that I can somehow pull out a win against anyone.
I mean I play around 4-6 hours a day! that's more than hrs. of sleep I get per day!
It's also interfering with my life, I mean I just have had a huge fight with my wife because I'm spending all my time on the computer rather than with her in bed. She also told me that she's sexually frustrated to a point where if this continues, she will be considering filing a divorce!
How can I stop this innocuous board game from ruining me?