I feel your pain 
Addiction
I play unrated games on lichess when I'm not feeling up to it, that way my rating doesn't go down 1-2 hundred points.
I've done the same thing. I googled "Chess Addiction" and I found similar stories. Misery loves company.
Guy’s you need too get in touch with “ chessholics anonymous “ they’ll soon sort your problem out. I believe they put such people as yourself, on a drying out period of one year. ..........good luck !
Cheers !
I am addicted as well. I’ve lost my job, my wife, and my baby child for the sake of bullet chess. I’ve sacrificed everything including my health (I’ve stopped working out and eating healthy) as I’m exclusively devoted to playing bullet chess. I wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery. There are clinics for video game addiction, but I’m not ready to be sober yet. Bullet feels too good.
Last night when I should have been sleeping, I could not stop playing chess. I can hardly stop this morning. Problem is: I play horrid during these binges.