Aggression

Hey yo,

I am have a serious problem. 

Whenever, I lose a chess game, I just become super aggressive. I say some really bad things which I do not intend to but it comes out. After that, I become instantly guilty but I cannot change what happened. I also cannot stop playing chess even after I lose. 

I honestly do not know what to do anymore. Should I just end myself or something? There has to be a more effective solution. Make the games non-rated will not make the situation better. I will still rage when I lose. 

So, yeah. A lost cause in short. 

I have not experienced this so I cannot give you advice from personal experience. However, I would advise that if you lose a game, take a break, remember it is only a game, and then, next time you play, simply try to have fun. The fact that you feel guilty for being aggressive means that it is not a lost cause. You definitely can figure this out.
Also, I would ask advice from family/friends because they actually know you, as opposed to people on a forum. They can give you better advice.

@Claralively 

Umm... Fair enough....

Probably the wrong place to ask...

I think it's better to just take it lightly if you lose a game, as @claralively mentioned above, it's just a game after all. Perhaps you could watch YouTube videos to improve your positions? Usually when I start losing I would do that and learn new gambits or tactics to counterattack my weaknesses. I really hope you will win more games! Best of luck buddy!

@ObbieFischer

No, no, no. I can accept my poor play. I tend to get really pissed whenever I lose due to my poor play and sadly, lash out

#1
Whenever you lose a game, stop playing and analyse it thoroughly.
That channels the negative emotions of the loss towards a positive goal: improving.

@AmNotSoBright yes, I’m just saying people who know you will be able to give you better advice probably. Also good advice here because these people know chess very well.

Hi!

This is a common symptom with chess playing as the game is pure information and no luck (like dice, cards, ect), therefore losses feel much more personal ( “I lost because I am dumber”) and it can make people feel bad and their egos inflicted with inferiority complex which many react badly. All of this is well known and the solution equally so- don’t take it personally! It’s a game, there will always be others better than you at most anything unless you are a professional like Magnus Carlsen-and even he loses at chess to others occasionally!

Anger management is an important discipline and I encourage you to focus on taming your anger either with self help or in certain circumstances, professional help. Anger issues contribute to a lot of negative outcomes both personally and professionally and is even tied to health concerns. We want to be happy and healthy individuals! The ability to laugh at yourself and your mistakes you make is a good skill and reduces what you’re stating by turning a potential negative emotion into an opportunity to take a light hearted approach which is less stressful to you in general and more pleasant to be around by others. I find focusing on acknowledging the other player’s win/good play helps shift your focus from the negative aspect of the situation to a more positive focus to the situation. Hey, you’d appreciate if your opponent likewise did the same with you if you had won!

Have fun with chess. It’s a great game and not something to be angry over! :)

-Jordan

Learn to control yourself….it really isn’t difficult.

Think of it this way, suppose I said…every time I drive a car, I want to smash my car into a wall over and over…..would you have much sympathy?

Remember it’s just a game….just have fun.

Learning to stop. Learning to wait. Important part of life education that is missing today.  Practice restraint. It should get easier. Hopefully.

@Walt6868

Easier said than done. 

But you are right.

@jg777chess

Will implement this. 

It will take some time but as long as I persist then I will become better. 

@JamesClrrke

Hahahahaha

Nah, you're right. 

Nah, bun this game, fam!

You can do Anger Management.Its easy!Breathe in.Think of positive things!

@daddysgirl0128 easier said than done. I know what happened and try to fix it but I still mess up. So, what do I do now? I know I can't start raging. 

@Fisikhad

I do not think it is that easy. 

Do not worry about your emotions. It is normal that you felt that. Chess is just a simple and primitive game. However, this is only a game. People play games to feel positive emotions because of victory. Therefore, emotions here are the key issue. If you think that emotions that you received are bad/destructive for your health and well-being – maybe it is better to look for some other type of entertainment. Masturbating people waste their time for emotions. Playing chess they do the same, but emotions are stronger because of competition and the possibility of dominating another person. Therefore, as I told chess is very primitive game, there are a lot of sadism and masochism (roles of dominant and dominated) in this game and you emotions are natural and normal.