Anger is RUINING my Chess [Please Help]

Get use to lose a little bit... And maybe anger get easier.

Remember that it is only a game.

A hobby implies on-going gratification. When I fly RC planes I anticipate flying more than I crash. When baking, I anticipate the enjoyment of both cooking and the eating. Do you anticipate winning more than you lose at chess? Chess is not like this. Without continual improvement, knowledge, and effort the best one can hope for is wins balancing the losses at some level (what is referred to as plateauing). Thus the game-like aspect makes it misleading to call it a hobby. It is more akin to a job, where the only way to advance is through effort. Anger is superficially caused by loosing or being embarassed at our own moves. Indirectly its due to the expectation as a hobby that the gratification (wins) will outweigh the losses, with minimal or patient engagement - the basic notion of a hobby. This is not chess. Aside from a continual effort to improve wins, the only other way chess can be a hobby is to redefine gratification as just playing. Also exceedingly difficult given the nature of the game. The phrase "remeber its only a game" is misleading, as it suggests a hobby. It cannot be a hobby unless the play alone is gratifying regardleas of losses. The literally combative (two-sided) nature of chess makes it difficult to experience the losses as gratifying.

Why do you play chess? Focus on that reason.

If you're playing for a quick win maybe take up something else.

Maybe take up fighting like Jake Paul. He picks who he wants to knockout. Jake couldn't find any retired opponents willing to fight him in their 60's. so he went with a 57 year old.

I play chess at night time because I like to go to bed a winner!

I play chess in the morning because there is no better feeling than starting your day off as a winner!

Winning at chess for most average players is almost like a coin toss. You don't really win with great moves, but your opponent makes bad moves and loses. Most people have a won/loss record that is right around 50%. There are always players with lower scores that a person can win against.

have a couple of glasses of fine wine before logging on to play. you will be more relaxed, creative, and probably give less of a crap about winning or losing.