best story about beating a novice

For mine I once met a stranger in a pool hall and I told him I play a lot of chess. He was mid-forties or 50s and basically still thought that a youngster (I was 21) could never beat a college professor at an intellectual contest. little did he know that chessplayers are a class about "people who know how to play chess" and skill level has little to do with reputation, age, experience in other walks of life. so anyways, he assures me he used to play a lot and asked if I had a board (always do- novices be mindful that if someone always carries a chessboard.. they probably aren't that bad at it). we commence the game: he plays e4 I play e5 2.exe5 en passant.... wait a second. yes, you read that correct. I assured him this is not a legal move in the game of chess. he drunkenly goes on to assure me that it is and he knows it, bc his friend plays chess and told him. after about 5 minutes of me saying "you know I play this game for hours everyday against lots of people and it is DEFINITELY not how to en passant (And I showed him the correct way). he VERY reluctantly "let it slide" and started over "my way". Needless to say... it was a... poopshow, on his part, if you will, and he got friggin schooled in like 8 moves before quitting and saying he was too drunk to concentrate. he wasn't too drunk, he knew it, I knew it, and not smiling was impossible. at the end he said "maybe I shouldnt be a professor of astrophysics"- to which I replied "maybe you should try learning chess"