Hmmm, You should play maybe 30|0 or 15|10 if you feel pressure under time, and yeah that anxiety is what I also feel, but I always practice before any match, you should watch some of your games which you won very well and rating is just a number, so the more you will overthink you will get more nervous, to boost your confidence do meditation and exercises daily and believe in yourself :), I hope you will succeed 🤞🏼
Breaking a mental block
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Any ideas or suggestions on how to break a mental block. I had a goal of breaking past 1600 and I achieved it before summer, peaking at 1664. Then I lost three games, and even though I won the next one, I somehow lost heart and started to fear dropping below 1600 again. Later on I even noticed that two out of those three losses were against opponents whose accounts were eventually closed for fair play violations. I decided to take a break from rapid and focus on studying chess. I hired a new coach, bought some books, did some online courses, and started playing daily seriously, partly because I felt it would help me improve by allowing more time to think through positions. That went well, and I have now stabilized around 1700+ there.
The issue is that this break from rapid, and other formats too although I did not play them much, has now stretched to six months, and I am mortified about starting again. The longer I stay away, the harder it becomes to return. I have improved a lot, but paradoxically my confidence has gone down. Studying, doing puzzles and playing daily has taught me a lot about chess, but I have also gotten used to having effectively unlimited time to think about positions and moves. This makes me even more afraid of time limited formats and of making stupid mistakes under time pressure. Against bots I can play fast without that fear, but that is not the same thing. Also, Before, I did not know what I did not know, and now I am much more aware of the gaps in my understanding. I have told myself to just start playing, even with the mindset that I might lose the first few games and that it is fine if it helps remove the fear of losing, yet I still do not play. I do play daily and have solved thousands of puzzles, but I just cannot pull the trigger.
Any ideas or suggestions?