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Chess jokes-2
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"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."
A Chess Player is walking from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The Chess player says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are my pets's pawn. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle and these fish jump out and I take around to see the sights only to return them at the end of the day; remember that the Chess Board is like an ocean; full of fish". The warden, does not play chess, he not had any idea what he's taking about; not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The Chess Player turns to the warden and says,
"CHECK" "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the fish back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will come out of the water." The Chess Player turns to the warden and says, "What fish!?"
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say:
"What a clever dog!"
But the man protests:
"No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
Frasier: I can see why she likes the game - "the king is stationary, the queen has all the power".
"So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov - Problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass the salt!"