chess jokes
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Jan 30, 2011
0
#22
joelabees wrote:
Part of this joke is that the board is set up wrong, in that, the white square is on the left. It is a fun idea for a set.
What's the difference between a professional chess player and a large cheese pizza?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Old chessplayers never die, they just spend forever contemplating the next move.
Warning signs you won't beat a computer at chess.
1. Before moving your queen, you consulting Eddie Murphy.
2. Your "garlic breath" strategy fails to intimidate this particular opponent.
3. You counter 'every' move with the "Canadian Burbon Opening."
4. Video tapes of you shouting at the ATM are legendary among the bank security staff.
5. You plan to use the "James T. Kirk Strategy" -- Talk the computer into blowing itself up!
You know you are a chess addict if:
1. You bump into someone or something and say J'adoube.
2. Fantasizes of beating Mr Spock in 3-D chess.
3. Proudly display, 'Chessplayers make better mates' bumper sticker on your car.
4. Mate, mating positions, exposed bishops, and forking the queen have nothing to do with sex.
5. When you meet someone, your first question is, "What's your rating?"
6. You have fantasies of mating one of the Polgar sisters.
7. You have a crush on Irina Krush.
8. You have checkered underwear with "It's your move" on the front.
9. You spot the chessboard set up wrong in every movie with a chess scene.
11. You have read all of this.
Two friends were discussing whether or not to play in an upcoming chess tournament. The first guy said "I would really like to play, but man, my wife told me that if I spend one more weekend playing chess and away from her, she's gonna take the kids and leave me!"
Second guy asks, "So what are you gonna do?"
First guy: "Pawn to e4, as always!"
hey every1
this is joe, can you guys see the images clearly, is it properly uploaded?
also, if you have chess jokes plz share it,
NOTE: non of these jokes are mine, i borrowed it from various internet sources
Some good jokes!
joe_of_the_jungle wrote:
My computer beat me at chess.
Unfortunately my computer is not as good at kickboxing.
I think my computer will have to forfeit the tiebreak round.
My computer also beats me at chess, so I revenged it by stomping on it three times.
I like 'this is sparta!' the best - great finds all of them.
Mar 19, 2011
0
#37
This is a great thread- I am going to print several of these out and hang them in my office. Thanks for sharing! 
taken from a comment made by TadDude.
