Chess Related Jokes

Hi chess pals.

 

As a fanatic of the greatest game in the world, (football not being included) I have found that we chess players tend to get labelled as dull and humourless. In fact, a friend of mine yesterday called me a 'chess w*****'. I found it disturbing, as i have never insulted his hobbies, twitching and swanupping. Anyway, here is my point. Do any of you good people out there know of any chess related jokes? I want to show my friend and indeed the world that we are not boring, monosylabic, nerds. Thank you folks, I look forward to your replies. I'm off now to change the internal bulb in my refridgerater :-)

There are some jokes that have been posted from a few months back in one of the forums. Most are pretty good, too.

 

By the way, w*****: is that "______"? We, in the US, don't use that one. I hear it on the BBC every once in a while. AND...what is "twitching" and "swanupping." I'm intrigued by British everything. I would so love to live near London. 

 

On your friend: the reason he called you a chess wanker, if that was the word :), is that he doesn't understand chess. Of course you know this, but I just thought I'd throw it out there. My friends don't insult my growing obsession with chess, they just act very intimidated. As they SHOULD!!! (just kidding)

Here some chess jokes links:

http://www.finitechess.com/jokes.htm   or just click here 

http://www.chessebook.com/anekdoty.php  or just click here 

twitching is another way to describe 'bird watching', and im sure that its a worldwide hobby. swan upping (i spelt it wrong earlier) is a more british endeavour. its an annual ceremony in which enthusiasts, round up, capture, mark and then release mute swans on the river thames. its a practise that dates back to the twelth century when mute swans were considered a common food source for royalty. nowadays, the queen owns them all and they are a protected species. AND I'M A CHESS W******!?  britain really is a wacky place and i love it. and i think, that london, for all its faults, is the greatest city in the world. thanks for your interest. ps i love the states, its a pretty wacky place too ;)

You got that right. Wacky is good description! But I love it, too.

I cant understand why you'd want to live in London StacyBearden, the countrys great but London isnt the nicest place to live in lol. Try the good old british country side ;).

I've never been to England, so I just see what's on the television. I have been to Paris and Nice. Paris was okay. Nice was alright, too. But I like it here better.

thank you bendcat, i suppose those links just about end this thread!

hi folks

 

if you want to see something funny just look at the games i have been playing tonight. I AM A CHESS RELATED JOKE!

I enjoy bird watching. I have some great DVD'S with some quite attractive ones on them. I usually finish off watching one by bashing my bishop. So really i could quite easily be referred to as a chess wanker!

i quite agree jona. i love nothing more than donning my binoculars and watching the birds out of my upstairs window. there was one in particular, (a great tit, i believe), and she performed the same routine every morning, merrily singing away as she acted out her daily ritual. unfortunately, she saw me on wednesday and threatened to call the police if she caught me again.

SORRY ABOUT THAT LAST POST. IT WAS MEANT TOTALLY IN JEST AND IS A COMPLETE FABRICATION AND TISSUE OF LIES MEANT PURELY TO AMUSE.

I wasn't. I'm single.

have you tried a chess romance? or is that a new thread?

 I don't think there's such a thing. i'd like to think i'd be busy in the bedroom, but the reality would be being dragged around some poxy retail park, shopping, groan!

British humor is so..... ummm, British.

so what is wrong with our humour batgirl?

batgirl your comment could mean anything from 'only british people understand british humour' to 'british humour is the best in the world'. personally, and maybe biasly, i think the latter. i would say that monty python has the edge on pee wee herman.please explain your comment.

Yes well... Just look at the re-make of "The Office"...

 

Ummm... actually lets not.

"please explain your comment. "

 

my comment was, of course, American humo(u)r.

 

inexplicable, the differences, huh?