Fish, Fishcake, patzer? What's your favorite and why...

The link below is just hilarious.  Read the OP and look at a couple of the posts, especially the one with "fish" themed pics.  Priceless.

So, my question is what are your favorite term(s) for bad chess players...defined as a player who is well beneath your strength and you can beat even if you're down major material with a WORSE position :)?

And Why is this term your favorite?

My favorite is simply: "fishcake".  As in "you play WORSE than a fish.  You play like a fish who has been reprocessed into a fishCAKE.  I have many other favs, but that's my number 1.  What say you??

http://www.chess.com/forum/view/endgames/pawnqueen-rook-bishop-or-knight

Wow, really, nothing??  No old school chess players aroung here?

You are much more of a curmudgeon then the REAL borg queen.  It seems to me that you actually participated in that thread I linked, as I recall. 

Anyway, I'm just saying that when I used spend endless hours play over the board back in the 70's and 80's part of the fun of it was hurling insults back and forth at each other.  I think that it was friendly, goodnatured and part of the charm of it all.  When I was in grad school I took a leave from my university in NY and I spent several months living in Paris and played 5 min chess for hours almost every day in little cafes.   It was great, great fun and perhaps most of all was learning so much colorful french chess slang...

I'm just saying...

Hey at least this is not another "why don't people resign" thread ;)

Player 1 "Don't call me a patzer!"

Player 2 " I'm not saying you are a patzer, I'm saying you play like a patzer"

cute...

I used to play with a guy who'd call me:

"Fishnakov"

I thought that was pretty funny.  Then in the middle of a game he's say with a strong russian accent: 

"You are strong, strong like bull, smart...Smart like tractor".

That always cracked me up.  You really have to use the accent for it to be funny...

Also, notice how I didn't point out that you were posting in a topic that you said was worth posting in.  Too "trivial" you said, I think. You have to admit that I was very dignified of me.  Oh, and btw while bowling balls may not be sharp, you really don't want to drop one on your foot.

holy crap are you calling me a "tongue holder".  Them's fighting words in these parts.  Btw samsung and dumb in the same sentence, why am I not surprised ;)

Tuna, I like that one...It certainly lends itself to riffing.  Like:  "hey we're gonna need a can opener over here"...

Well, it's been a bad night if I'm holding my own tongue...

So bad that i might need a can opener...

Well, we're going way off topic here but I think your last comment shows a great lack of imagination.

Noone uses "hack" anymore ?!  I must be real old school...... 

I think alot people say "hack", but not to each other's faces in the name of "gamesmanship"; know what I mean?

I think what I find amusing is the way classic chess insults mutate.  Fish becomes "fishcake" or "fishnakov".  Hack could be come "taxi driver", I dunno.   The patzer is the "patzenator"...stuff like that.

Ah BQ you've finally completely lost the point of this thread...

ah yes, weakie, I haven't heard that one for a while.  However Tony, what I'm getting at are epithets that are really used against only (or at least primarly) chess players...

Your comment was, in the words of an old friend of mine:

(russian accent:)  "strong like bull, smart like tractor".

Bunny

ah, didn't know that fish is used in poker.   Duff is used for all kinds of stuff.  I've never heard spud used before, but I like how it could morph into, for instance: "hey, nice move tater tot."