How to get a title?

Mona Lisa wrote:

1. Ask Vinci.

Some_Idiot wrote:

If you rescue a dragon or slay a princess you will certainly get a title.

Wrong!

      I once helped a blind guy get across the street                                                            http://www.chess.com/forum/search?keyword=titles

FIDE Titles...

Open Titles

CM = 2200.

FM = 2300.

IM = 2400.

GM = 2500.

Women's Titles

WCM = 2000.

WFM = 2100.

WIM = 2200.

WGM = 2300.

Norms aren't performance rating, they are results in a Tournoment like a positive result agianst Say IM Level or above competition for a IM Norm 

IF you win the World Championship and don't have the GM title (which probably won't ever happen) you automatically get it.

I am a CM, how do I have my title?

If you are a FIDE CM there is a link explaining what you need to do in the following.

https://support.chess.com/article/661-does-chesscom-offer-benefits-for-elite-or-titled-players

Find some masters and pay them to lose a bunch of games to you. It's worked before.

Cut the cover off a book