How to make your thread look useful

Can anybody tell me?

I'm kidding, I already know. I just wish people would stop using thread titles that make their thread look like some kind of tutorial or explanation (unless it actually is). I often click through to see if I can learn anything, and it's annoying when I don't  Anybody else dislike this?

Oh, the irony.

A great thread title is often misleading. You must make your thread sound important or mysterrious. Something like "Brilliant game" works but something like "The looming crisis of chess" sounds way better. Excessive use capital letters also works. Something you could try is to impersonate other threads, pretend to be daily puzzle. Its a sure fire way to get readers, but it is really annoying when the readers start being annoyed in the thread.

I think the irony was intentional.