How to Play a Perfect Game

A perfect garbage game that is.

My most recent opponent was really close to perfection, failing only to complete the final step.

Step 1

First, you start a bullet game, of course, because it's the most garbage time control.

Step 2

Second, you intentionally blunder as my opponent does below

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Step 3

Immediately after blundering, you offer a draw. This tries to trick people into thinking you're requesting a takeback because of the obvious blunder. When they instinctively click accept, you'll have gotten away with it!

Step 4

When the opponent doesn't take the bait, close that tab. This will make it appear as if you've left the game. This tries to fool your opponent into resigning or leaving the game himself. After 10 seconds or so return to the game to see whether your opponent is gone.

Step 5

Just because your opponent hasn't disconnected doesn't mean they're still paying attention to the screen. Wait until your last few seconds and shuffle your king back and forth with two moves (two because you'll want to bypass your opponent's premove). If your opponent has left, you'll win on time.

Bonus Step

My opponent may have balked at step 5, but he did get the bonus... which is be sure you're doing all this in an unrated game, where the outcome is completely meaningless.

Nice !