How to play like an idiot and win anyway

When I was rated near 1200 I discovered a type of opponent that I had no respect for... you've no doubt encountered him before, the person who will only ever play for a big attack on the kingside. It doesn't matter if you have 10 defenders, they'll make as many 1 move mate threats as possible and hope something works out. (Of course it didn't help that half the time I lost to these players!)

Since I held them in contempt I never bothered learning how to do it. Well after all these years I figured out a pretty reliable attacking process... not for a good attack, because how could it be good if you're planning to do it from move 1 no matter what, but at least an attack that aspires to be annoying

Here's my contribution to the "throw everything at the King and hope for mate" style:

The title describes more or less all my games . 

I am guilty of pursuing this style of play. I really do believe this is THE way to play fast time controls!