I really need to enjoy playing chess...

I guess this was bound to end up in a place, considering how helpful and insightful so many people have been in this thread, that it would end up turning to the psychology behind the problem. Ultimately, that IS the problem, but it's also very obvious to me that the psychology behind the "enjoyment" and "overly-competitive" and "trouble handling losing" factors are common problems too, and not just with someone who's bi-polar. It's the bi-polar that makes it a much more life-disrupting issue.

So many of the suggestions made here will help others, not just Mark. I know he appreciates them, and I most certainly do. This is WONderful to have such support and people caring enough to put out there possible suggestions that could help. He posted a few more details than I expected or was necessary, but I guess the mood had him expressing more and honestly---it's not offensive and if it helped, it's fine with me since it's fine with him. The specific things that affect each person's life that create problems such as being overly competitive, etc. are what each individual needs to work out, BUT the general suggestions offered here are just that----general in a way that others can also benefit by them. This became a thread worth reading, I think, rather than the kind that has little or no value.

Thank you again, to all who've offered caring and useful suggestions!

I play a lot of billiards also.  One of the things I learned from one of the great pool players is when you make a mistake just laugh it off. Efren reyes misses an easy shot or does something stupid laughs, scratches his head and then sits down and it is done.  I still haven't learned to apply that at the chess board(or really the pool table for that matter) but it is something to strive for. 

 Although I think those of us that have a deep seeded hatred of losing do have an advantage in terms of getting better.   It motivates you that much more to put in the work you need to do

All I can say is "WOW!" to that video! Talk about skilled and impressive!

LOL very funny, tonydal

I'm sure you noticed that Mark then said he actually just missed seeing where the queen blunder showed up :)

   Alright everyone. In a way, Anthony is right. I feel like I need to stand up in front of the room and tell everyone I'm a chess addict and pretty much an extremely sore loser and psychopath when it comes to competition. I think this thread is pretty much overloaded. I want to thank everyone again for their input and opinions. Hopefully in the future I can learn not to be so much of a moron and make a public spectacle of myself like I did here.

   -Mark

You didn't make a public spectacle of yourself. You brought up a very good point that others can relate to, regardless of their mental condition :)

mark, if you, like me, use humor to deflect negative feelings...

just sing "chess mark's roasting on an open fire" after losing or blundering. 

on that note, i am looking for a game if you want to challenge me. 

Anthony, yeah I've played a few games since this thread has gotten out of control, and I also took my running Fritz record out of my profile as well, and I've calmed down quite a bit. I lost 3 games the other day just because I think I AM trying too hard and not enjoying playing, so the last 24 hrs my blood pressure has significantly dropped and drew my last three games and not many blunders, so whatever clicked seems to be working 

 Mark, this thread hasn't got out of hand :) Anthony, more great, supportive suggestions, and you too planeden. You totally made me crack up! I LOVE that! I used to kid with it singing "chestnuts roasting in a closed oven..." ;)

LOL, well, it's taking on a life of it's own

planeden, Live Chess or Online? the latter would be better   3 Days/Random color 

Personally, I hate losing in any endeavor that is important to me. If it is not important to me, I do not have as much fun with it.

The problem is that I have not lost enough games to stop caring in chess.

wasn't that sylvia plath?

yes, online please.  3 days random sounds good to me.  i also don't care about whether it is rated or unrated. 

LOL well, I'm sure I'll lose anyway, but we'll go rated, I have to jump into the fire(classic Metallica song)eventually

we'll see.  i don't know that i am that strong, but i have no idea what your rating is.  let's just have fun...ehem....hehehe

I think the key to really enjoying and improving at chess is to have a mature approach to it. If you lose a game, just look at it totally objectively, admit when you were completely wrong. This can be hard at first but when you start to do it more it shouldn't be so bad, unless for some reason you think losing chess games means you're a failure . When you're enjoying chess and thinking completely objectively, with no nonsense clogging your mind, you play really well, so I'm now always trying to get in that state of mind to consistently play good chess.

I used to make excuses for myself like "I only blundered because I didn't see this move, and that move is like mentally impossible to find for an under 2500", or "I had the right plan, I just missed a cheap move". And yeah that stuff may be true, but if I keep making those same mistakes I'll continue to lose games like that so I have to look at that stuff seriously. I think you'll find that not only will you get better more easily, but you simply won't care that much when you lose (or win for that matter . I rarely smile when I win, I'm just mildly excited).

Also when looking at say annotated gm games, you really need to be actively involved, unless you're like a titled player. You need to try to understand what's going on (if this takes hours, it's a good sign to look at a less advanced game, unless of course you just want to enjoy the fireworks, but again for improving this isn't great) to truly appreciate and learn a lot from one of those games. Other methods work too, but this is the ideal when you have the time. Besides when you don't try to figure out what's going on it's just really boring, mindlessly playing over one variation over the next, never knowing what's going on, and in each one the gm annotator says "white is better" or something. He's so good he doesn't even feel the need to explain (and it saves space. If the gm explained every single variation the book could literally go from 200 pages to 1000), but for a weaker player they could spend a long time just trying to figure out why the gm said that white is better at the end of one out of dozens of variations! Sometimes you have to slow down and play through a game at your own pace. When you understand a game it's a lot more interesting.

I like to sit down with a stranger that I have no clue as to what his/her rating is.  Why?  It a real challenge for me.  If I lose I usually learn far more about my weak points than if I win, especially if I record the game.  Win or lose, I enjoy chess to witness all of the fabulous positions and combinations that occur.  For me, OTB is far more rewarding than playing otherwise.  I do play otherwise to improve, otherwise I doubt I would have joined chess.com.  I enjoy playing with the knight, and I enjoy watching someone out maneuver me with a knight, too.  Again, I learn more watching someone use a knight skillfully against me that any other method of learning. I just remember those fantastic knight moves that sack my game far more than those I make against my opponent. I think of what Hein Donner said,  "I love all positions.  Give me a difficult positional game, I will play it.  But a totally won positions, I cannot stand them."   Want to win all of the time?  It is like someone else said, and that is play under your level.  Now that just isn't any fun.  

You know, gang---I really think this stuff is sinking into his psyche! Here's hoping it will develop into lasting change :) I'm really enjoying hearing how so many of you come along in your chess lives and how you go about things.

And planeden, I don't even know who sylvia plath is! lol No, years ago, just fooling around, I started making up more modern-day, accurate lyrics to the old song since, at my house, the chestnuts roast in a closed oven ;) I can't remember how I continued with it, but it was all along the same lines.

Oh, and btw, we took pics tonight of Mark's "Chess Central" :) They should be up on his profile some time tomorrow probably, if anyone's curious.

she was an author/poet who suffocated herself in her oven in the 60's. 

That's a tough way to deal with losses from playing chess.