It is depressing.

Ah, losing at chess. Lots of threads on this board about the subject and much gnashing of teeth. Personally, when it comes to tennis, golf and especially chess, I like to alter a quote by Walter Becker talking about one of Steely Dan’s hits, Deacon Blues: “The protagonist in the song isn’t necessarily a chess player, he just sees chess as a mythical form of loserdom to which he might aspire.”

Well even though I find studying Rook Endings quite fun, you've probably picked one of the areas of study that most players will find quite boring. But I think anyone who appreciates chess will enjoy going through beautiful Master games for instance. And even if they don't, one can't expect to improve if they just play and don't study. And as she obviously doesn't just play chess for a bit of relaxing fun and has said that points are important to her I gather she does want to improve... 

Sometimes a break from the game does wonders.  At least for me.  I'm talking a month or 2 at the most, I always come back stronger every time I do that.  Recharge the batteries. 

Nowadays I just play unrated and have fun :)  You should try it, it really changes your attitude.

Don't play rated. If you are losing a lot, just play unrated games so it becomes fun again. I stopped caring about rating.

take extended breaks, exercise and or meditate....

Everyone here goes thru this phase, not 2worry... in such a situation i just stop playing and watch the games of Top honchos like Fischer, Alkhine and Tal. That gives me inspiration and thn I hardly lose.

I got up this morning and instead of logging on i met with my daughter and went swimming.  I was itching to get back home to play chess but went to my friends for a chat.  He has a laptop, I asked if i could have a couple of games of chess.  First opponent was about 300 points above me the second only 100.  Lost both games and I am seeing red.  It is funny as I only have one game left and nervous about playing it.

I am determined to win as i know i can play another couple of games.  Limiting my losses has brought a whole new twist to my game. xx

I must say some of your replies, have made a difference and been real helpful.

wow, poor thing.  It sounds unhealthy Jackie.  Maybe you need a day on and day off from the game.  Basing life around chess can be a real downer when you aren't winning.

 But reading witty comments written by good-looking women from halfway across the world can't possibly be a bad thing. 

Forget the "Mr Spock" chess for the moment, join a group and network with others to resolve the source problem. The main thing is enjoy your chess not mastering the "Ivaaknackofnickingthemof defense - traditional lines"(of course).

live long and prosper

have you considered joining a chessclub? getting into a chessplaying and friendly enviroment may be healthy for you. perhaps just what you need? personally i dont mind losing at all at my chessclub. i feel like hanging with my friends but on internet i just hate it. the other thing is that a chessclub will increase your skill ALOT faster than internetblitz. i would say its worth a shot at least:)

same thing with me your a grandma oh wow

use the anyalisis board. slow down..remember what lasker said..when you see a good move..WAIT !... look for a better one. You might be better do more training . maybe go to the downloads and get the win board..and the games of masters..take a good look at what capablaca did..and any others you might find interesting  like Steinitz , Alekine , Tal , Fisher , opr whoever else.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT ! . WHEN YOU CANT STOP PLAYTING..GO PLAY THAT NASTY COMPUTER..IT'S EVIL...I SWEAR IT..BUT YOUR RATING WONT GO DOWN.

That's a good idea. Play unrated when you're on a losing streak and when your form comes back, which it always does, come back! Also as Montybro just said, computer chess is a great training ground. You don't get the urge to finish off the game when you make a dumb move, you just start another one. And after a while you actually feel yourself improve.

Well, I must admit I didn't read carefully all of the answers to your topic, so I hope I'm not repeating what anyone might have said.

I think that the bad side of the addiction is more in the computer chess, than in chess in itself.

Too fast, too many games, and never a beer and a cigarette with your opponent... you really don't have time to naturally analyze your games, to "digest" them... you (and me) just click "new game" over and over... because there's no point in talking about the game with someone you don't really know...

I have those losing streaks often, and somehow they are useful for learning, as for the addiction, I'm sure the problem is the computer, not chess.

Why don't you try, when you feel the addiction coming, to go out and play chess with a friend, live? for me it works

I have losing streaks lots of times and it makes me really frustrated. Especially when I am clearly winning and I just make a blunder or two. And this just makes it worse because I become really impatient in my other games and I make even more blunders and I keep losing. I think the best thing is to avoid blitz games and only do them once in a while. I used to love playing 5 minute games and it doesn't seem like a lot but it adds up to a ton, and also makes you really impatient (in playing and mentality). I always thought that analyzing my games would be a bore but it's actually fun when you find great combinations for either you or your opponent and makes you a better player. 

I have precisely the same problem, except I get angry instead of depressed. I want to move on to something else productive, but i cant until i win a game. Then my opponent wants a rematch, i lose, and the cycle starts again.

Compulsive online chess addict? That's a new one on me! Losing an hour of your day because you're stuck blitzing moves, sure, who hasn't done that before? But to cause a detriment to your livelihood and relationships with friends, family, and people in general, really, from online chess? Seriously? There's not even any wagering involved, play money or the real kind.

I can see the meetings...

"Hi, my name is......and I'm a chessaholic."

By the by, twelve steps is not a chess opening.