Knights vs Bishops

For a few years in the late 80's/early 90's, I wrote a column for the
now-defunct USA Today Sportsline online chess site.  It was originally
called "The Linc" and was the first ever online chess playing site, the
precursor for ICC, etc.

Mike Petersen
 

THE CHESS SCENE

by Mike Petersen

"Knights or Bishops?"     

Time to answer the age-old question: which are better, knights or
bishops? There have been numerous tomes written on the subject, but
none of them have, in my opinion, attacked the real heart of the
question. All they do is tell about the relative strengths and
weaknesses of the knight or bishop in various positions. The question
of which is the better piece depends upon much more than that.

For one thing, did you ever see how players line up their pieces at
the beginning of the game? Which do they spend the most time over, the
knights or the bishops? Right. You see, everybody has their own ideas
about which way the knight should be facing. Some, like myself, think
that the knights should begin the game facing the king. Others feel
that both knights should face the same direction. Then there are those
who are aggressively minded and point their knights at the opponent's
army. On the other hand, who has ever seen anyone arrange his bishops
with any particular care? How many of us really care which way the
slit in the bishop's head faces? Do you?

Then there is the matter of how one picks up the pieces. Lifting a
knight takes some thought, you know. Do you pick it up with your thumb
and forefinger, or do you use the index and middle fingers to lift it?
This latter method, by the way, is used most often by those who face
their knights toward the enemy position at the beginning of the game.
Now look at the bishop. Everybody just grabs. No thought required
here! Pick it up and put it down. Whoopee. Let me tell you, moving a
knight is an act of love for some of us. No other piece seems to fit
so well in our fingers.

Also, take a close look at the pieces. Which piece do you think takes
the most effort to make? Right again. Why, advertisements for chess
sets are always claiming that the knights are "beautifully hand
carved" but mention nothing about the bishops. That's because they're
all turned out on lathes like all the other pieces on the board. I've
never seen a set advertised with the comment "beautifully hand carved
bishops", have you? Obviously, then, more work goes into making the
knight than any other piece on the board. There must be a reason.

Another thing. When someone is in time trouble, the piece they dread
the most is...right on...the knight! The worst thing that can befall
someone the exchange ahead is the KNIGHT FORK coming out of nowhere!
Ugh, it's happened to me, and it's no fun. No sir.

So, when you get right down to it, there really is no contest. The
question of which is the best piece doesn't even have to be asked.
Now, if they could only learn to spell it without all those silent
letters...