Most illogical thing you've done in chess?

Whats the most silly, illogical thing you've done involving chess?  For me it has to be back when I was 1250 deciding to pick up the modern defense because it was "modern".

P.S. I'm back after a long hiatus!  Although the only memorable thing I did was insane overanalysis during vote chess.

Blundered.

Making moves whilst not entirely the paragon of sobriety thinking I was constructing a devastating brilliancy. The cold light of day is harsh.

About four weeks ago during a league match I pulled a pawn.

The opposite of pushing a pawn. I pulled the pawn towards my side of the board.

1. About an hour before setting off for the game I almost knocked myself unconscious in my flat picking up my son's building bricks and standing up in the wrong place.

2. I had been two pieces up at one point and was now fighting for a draw.

The answer as to why I should think that was my move lies somewhere between these two facts.

My opponent quickly moved my pawn back and said, "it's going this way, buddy."

Ok.....I hate to admit this but its funny so here goes : I was playing my second or third tournament and my opponent was from the same club as me and a big rival. I was about 1350 rated at the time and he was some 400 points higher !  My position was objectively lost as I was a couple of pawns down and under heavy attack. I noticed that if a certain pawn wasnt in the way of my rook I would have great counterplay as it was obstructing my rook so I took it with my rook ! My opponent proclaimed in a loud voice : " You cannot do that !" I asked why not?! By this time many people had come to our board to see what was taking place and it turns out I had taken my own pawn !  So, we put the pawn and rook back, my clock was started and I tried some other move but not with the rook I had touched and my pponent again said in a loud voice : " you have to move that rook, you touched it ! I just wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere at this point and people were even laughing aloud at this point....well, any move I made with the "offending" rook immediately lost the game so I just resigned to save any further embarrassment ! This took place more than 30 years ago and even today some people STILL remind me of this incident ! 

Well I remember once, about a year ago, I had a quick forced mate in a correspondence game.  Why my opponent played on is beyond me but with mate in two I ended up ignoring the move order and my nice 'mating net' ended up hanging my queen to a pawn.  I went on to lose! Probably my most emberassing moment.

In an OTB game about a month ago, we got as far as 1. d4 g6 2. Nf3 Bg7 3. e4 d6 4. Be3 Nf6 5. Nc3 O-O 6. Qd2 c6 7. Bd3 b5 and for some reason I got it into my head that the book move was e5, so that you can stash the knight on e4 when the pawns come forward (what?).  I knew I'd researched this specific position and the only move jumping out at me from the depths of my memory was e5, so even though I could see at least 3 things wrong with it, I played it and presumably figured I'd work it out on my opponent's time.

I never see simple stuff, I always look for more complicated solutions.

Here my opponent resigned, and I made smart remark how I saw mate in 4 -1...Rg2+ 2.Kh4 Rxh2+ 3.Kg3 Rg2+ 4.Kh4 fxg5#. And then he told me that I could mate him after 2.Kh4 fxg5#. I felt so stupid. And I do that more that I would like to. 

lol I know how you feel with that one! Only a few months ago in an OTB game my opponent put me in check with his Knight, but for some reason I didn't even notice I was in check! He got up from the board to take a stroll around (he was winning at this point), and about a minute later I made a Rook move as if I wasn't in check! He was still gone from the board and I think he'd left the room at this point with his clock running. To my puzzlement and annoyance people were coming over and trying not too subtly to hide their sniggers. I was thinking to myself "OK, I'm losing by quite a bit but what's so funny about that?" So when eventually after about 5 minutes I realised what had happened I wished the ground would literally swallow me up! Although I did manage to swindle out a draw in the end from the mess somehow!

I played the game.

You almost beat an Expert in your 1st tournament?!

I had a won game against Ivanov and got so nervous that I couldn't think and he went on to win. 

I was rated in the 1200"s and found myself  3 and 0 out of 5 and matched against a National Master 2350. Instead of playing my usual Sicilian and giving it my best shot I choked and played the Caro-Kann for the first time in my life. I was crushed in 12 moves. I realize I would have been crushed anyway, but I should have gone down swinging.

I was once playing chess with my cousin and I concentrated far-too-much on a specific problem in my position, I concentrated so much that I made a diagnal pawn move that would have fixed the problem. Needless to say my cousin was like, "What the heck is that man?"