Most Useless Chess Advice

I always thought the worst ones were psychological ones that amount to "make useless moves because it will confuse your opponent, then move in for the kill."

e.g. attack on the side of the board where you can't do anything and he's well defended.  Your opponent will be confused and think they missed something, after they get confused and spend energy trying to figure your plan out then you can attack for real somewhere else.

I saw on an earlier post "watch jrobi videos" yes, you could actually get a lot of examples of bad advice there...

Especially if it's digital! :p

Definitely lousy advice. I prefer "castle early and often".

I really was told by a beginner that castling was bad because it trapped your king in a corner

"Get your King out early." - Lenny Bongcloud

"Quit playing chess and spend more time with your family."

Ouch!

good checkers game

Never castle early twice with the same pieces. 

Why not?

it is against the rules of chess

You seem to forget what thread this is.

If you have a check play it, it might be mate !!

Master : If you play better then you could win some.

Me : suggestions?

Master : have you tried thinking of better moves?

Me :

Master : or not letting me beat you? That could help.

1.  play some checkers, it might help you learn how to improve your pawn structure!

2.  crush his pathetic little pawns with the much larger pieces, like the queen

3.  Stop trying to understand how castling and pawn enpassaunts work, they're too complicated and they never work.

4.  try to get as many pawns in one column as you can.

5.  move the same piece back n forth, he'll probably lose on time.

6.  Don't mate your opponent unless your ready for that kind of commitment (hehe more of a joke than bad advice)

7.  Go for the stalemate!  he'll never suspect!

8.  Move the horsie piece, horses can move faster than queens or bishops.

those are all i got just off the top of my head, i might think of more later.  another funny thing in chess is everybody's favorite line from a beginner, "what's that horsie piece called again?"

1. When in doubt, take. (got that from halo, since the grunts were taught "when in doubt, shoot")  XD

2. Move all your pawns up before you move your other pieces

3. Check the opponent no matter what; he would eventually lose if you check him every move

4. If the opponent is winning, then try winning yourself

5. When you are losing, think of how to win

"Study from gambit against the bird!"

Indeeed, that's what most 1200 players need, they need to memorise unsound lines that they might never get the opportunity to play.

"It's not enough to be a good player, you must also play well" - I forget who said it, Tartakower maybe?

In the opening of a game of chess, the strategy is simple: bring out the queen and attack.  The other pieces are weak and should be left at home.

That was an aphorism. The idea is that being a good player is proven by playing well.

I read that as saying that you can't just rest on your laurels.