I would propose play one 15 minute game on chess.com every day for one month.
Then after that one month you will be able to look at that rating and it will be a meaningful established rating.
In the second month hopefully you can try to find a plan to try to make your established rating go up 100 points.
Because of you are an diamond member here, I suggest the fastest way to improve is to do chess mentor lessons here, what you already do as I see on your profile.
Look for the basic lessons in all matters: Tactics, openings, endings... and you will get a basic knowledge.
Doing the daily 15 minute game give you the practice to connect your knowledge on these parts together and you will get an idea for what is possible on the board. Have fun!
see go to learn tab there u can see the rules and basics
play some standard games (ie. 15|10, 30|0) and 10|0 when you don't have time. don't bother with lower than that, you won't learn anything. the main thing you should do when starting out is familiarizing yourself with the game and common mistakes, often times ending up making those mistakes yourself and learning to never get fools mated again! 
Bumping the topic. Any advice on modern chess books to pick up? Preferably e-books. And I've been playing with a friend/occasional random players, been getting a bit better :D
up
There's this guy called Sebleb who gives lessons for beginners. Check out some of his lessons, and if you like them, I think he also offers free coaching.
There's this guy called Sebleb who gives lessons for beginners. Check out some of his lessons, and if you like them, I think he also offers free coaching.
Yeah Sebleb improved my rating from 500 to 501 in only 8 months 
Irving Chernev, Logical Chess: Move by Move.
I'm decent enough I guess, I can usually beat friends, but they aren't exactly chess players. I'd like to find a good beginner's book (not so basic as the function of pieces, mind you), and I prefer modern books as well. Any recommendations, as well as any other advice on starting?