@OP: Your title conveys considerably more angst and fervor than the moderation in the prose of your first post.
Your concerns have no easy answer. One will encounter the full gamut of personality types on the Internet (not merely this website). As long as you are friendly to all you meet, you should meet plenty of polite, conversational people.
Perhaps I'm encompassing to many people with the title of this topic, but there do seem to be many people on this website that are just rude. I have two problems I would care to address. First the long problem of people not resigning which has been gone into depth in many other forums so I will only briefly announce that I don't like players that do this. I also have been annoyed lately about how players never really talk over a game. I know this is not necessarily rude, but it bothers me a bit. When I play OTB I always enjot a nice conversation with my oppenent about chess or sometimes other things (unless of course we are in a tournament like setting). On many other games people often talk, why is it that no one does on this website (or does no one in general talk in chess)?