Scared while playing, angry when losing, and having nightmares.

dont play chess, take up that other great sport!

I'm pretty fed up of people whining about trolls to the point where virtually every thread the OP gets accused of being a troll.

Anyways, I have a question: Do you perform better when angry or calm? You must evaluate this first to see which emotion brings out the best in you. Try it out and see, play some unrated games and keep calm and then play some rated games and feel free to be angry. If you play better angry my advice is use your anger, vent if necessary, and swear.

If you are performing better calm then we can discuss calming methods.

I'd say the OP is taking the game way too seriously.  Maybe he should try Monopoly or Crazy 8's.

I know some people get emotionally involved in the games they're playing, but throwing things against the wall after a loss means you need to try something else until you mature emotionally.

My mum would have whooped my ass for trashing my room over a game of chess. 'Behavioural problems' seem to be a lot more widespread now that a skelp on the arse is not longer an option. Coincidence?

Let's not have another thread deleted over this please?

Over what?

If you want to get rid of the nightmares you could try try learning lucid dreaming (works very well for me ). Remember that chess is only a game and isn't something to get upset about. I too can get a bit annoyed when I stupidly throw away a win in 1 blunder (especially when I see my mistake just after I make the move!). In that case just move on and play another one or do something else until you feel more relaxed. Getting angry is certainly the wrong reaction.

Try to chill out a bit mate, it is just a game and if you get worked up chances are you'll loose even more. Flatten your heart :0)

Pandas don't eat chocolate.

Do they?

PLAY TIC TAC TOE INSTEAD

YOU CAN BE A WORLD CHAMPION

There's your answer. You still need to grow up and learn how to control your emotions.

Ok.....i can understand getting angry if u lose a couple of games......but why scared? Amd nightmares too? If u are having issues while sleeping I suggest u stop playing chess.....is not worth it.....u r suppose to enjoy playing.......

A large plush stuffed animal could help with the sleeping problems.

Losing equals learning.

Play with the goal of improving, not the goal of winning. You can still improve from losses.

You'll get better the more you play. Losses will happen regularly, but they are a good thing if they help you to learn your flaws and correct your mistakes.

Making shadow animals on the wall might help too.

lol

Nobody on EARTH, and that means NOBODY--besides you--cares whether you win or lose. Your rating is insignificant. Your dropped piece matters not at all. Not one person alive judges you based on your scores on Tactics Trainer or Online Chess or Live Chess or OTB chess.

You're a teenager, and that means you have yet to gain perspective. So here it is: I am 61 and have been playing chess since my teens. I have always loved the game, and I got one of the first chess computers that was manufactured. I have a bunch of books (some of which I've read), and I've been to the World Open twice (with nothing to show for it except a samller checking account and great memories). I've played off and on for DECADES. And guess what? I still stink. I lose all the time. And when I win I'm just elated that I was less pathetic than my opponent.

Chess is fun. It's a great diversion and an endless puzzle. It's always there when I need it, and I can put it down and not think about it for months. You want anger and frustration? Talk to the people in Boston, Sandy Hook, Newtown. Tell them that you get really upset when you lose a chess game. Then get ready for a punch in mouth.

Extremely well said...and timing could not be better. :)

MSteen, the 1st 4 lines are a piece of work. It is true for most of us here on chess.com.

Thanks to everyone who gave me serious advice.

In response to Msteen, I have to say there is one person who judges me, and that is myself. If I spend time studying a particular opening, attack, endgame variation, etc and find myself in that situation and still lose, I feel stupid and it lowers my self-esteem. That's part of why I get so scared, because I know if I lose I'm going to take that hit to my self-esteem, and I'm going to feel a depressive weight for the next week because of it. Meanwhile if I win, I'm going to be happy, feel a sense of accomplishment, and have a bounce to my step.

As for your comparing being upset over a chess game with Sandy Hook, this seems to be a version of the "your problems don't matter because there are always people worse off to be found" platitude. By this logic, only the single most miserable, suffering person in the world would have a right to feel upset over anything, because you are saying to everyone else "you have no right to feel bad about anything because you should feel grateful you're not that person." Just because there are always people worse than us does not invalidate our own fear and anger.