Don't think about just winning. Enjoy the game!
Staying positive
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Hey Bruiser -
Here are a few things to keep in mind.
The frustration you feel is a good indicator that your mind is taking it seriously.
The way the mind learns is it charts pathways, mainly on a feedback system of pain/pleasure. In chess, this cooresponds to win/loss and the losing/aquiring of pieces.
Therefore, the "pain" you're feeling is the bio-feedback which is necessary for the learning process.
So, in effect, you want this. Were you too cavalier, were the experience too pleasurable, you wouldn't be gaining in the same way. Your frustration is a good sign!
Moreover - there is an inevitability to improvement in this game. It does take a lot of time - like anything. I once read in Scientific American that 7 years is a good amount of time for professionality in an activity - be it painting or piano or chess - I'm on my first.
Sometimes it appears as if you're not improving. This is absolutely not the case. Understand that there will be a tidal affect of your education - sometimes it will seem as if the torrent is completely against you (losing all your games) and other times you'll effortlessly defeat your opponents. Chess education operates with thresholds - you burst through certain barriers of recognition and are able to implement what you've learned. Much of this is pattern recognition.
Also - I saw in my own education that there was a delay between the time of me "knowing" a tactical idea and my ability to recognise and implement it.
Have patience. Trust that you're immersing yourself in the practice, theory, energy and science of chess. Don't force too much too soon - but trust in your brain - that if you expose it it will take care of so much.
Soak it in and allow yourself to experience it on multiple layers. Allow your imagination to run free. Visualize. repeat the name of an opening when you're looking at it like you would an associate.
Celebrate your relation with chess. Remind yourself that you're ultimately fascinated with it's intricacy and devoted to it's mastery.
This is your journey - don't be distracted by rating. There are so many lovely victories on the way - like discovering what a fork is for the first time all over again.
Remind yourself you're involved in the most ancient of games. Respect it's history and heritage. Remind yourself you're in the company of friends here - fellow fascinated people who share a love for the 64 squares.
No secret can hide from soulful celebration. Celebration brings It into utmost apprehention.
yeah especially on live, i lose if i think negative and minding the rating of my opponent when higher than me 200-600 points :)
Dec 23, 2008
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#5
The games you lost, set aside as much time as you can, take a closer look at the moves you made from first to last. Be able to explain to yourself or anyone why you made the move you did, what was your understanding that the move would do for you and where would it place you. Did it, would it place you in a strong postion for your next move or not so strong but still a good counter attack. The more you study your moves and be able to explain why you move what you do you hopefuly will gain, a deeper understaning of your self and your playing style. Haveing more information about how you play will help you decide what you need to focus on.This is where Chess mentor here on chess.com might be able to help. Please keep this in mind if you can,"To lose only means one does not yet know everything."
Apr 17, 2025
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#8
i got so mad that i bonked my head so hard that my chair nearly fell 90 degrees https://www.chess.com/share/puzzle/rush/oliverminnie/4DcJaS?mode=rush
Anybody have advice on how to stay positive? It seems like every time I think I'm starting ot get it, I go on a losing streak that brings me down. It's hard to keep playing when you feel like you're not any good.