THE BEST OF CHESS.COM: Funniest Chess Experience

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Wooooo! Mr Sarcastic knows it all. A.K.A Hey_Randi

Wow is right Bright Boy!

You friend must have been really surprised huh.

Ladies and Germs lets hear it for Bright Boy 🌹

(Clap- Clap! etc. etc. 🌹🌹🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍩🍎💔🍅🍅🍅💐🌺🇺🇸🇺🇸🍷🍷😄

Share your story. We wanna hear it.

Randi on the telephone

(Hey Bob What's up....who just called?......logozar?.......what......oh really.....when's logazor coming down?....what????.....he said that?.....so he's coming down to punch Me in the nose? Well alright then.....No don't worry...OK bye)

Click.

Ladies and Germs I'm sorry but something has come up and I Bob is going to take over for me shortly. I want to thank everyone in the audience and I want to give a special thank you to the wonderful Chess.com members for joining us here tonight on the Best Of Chess.com's Funniest Chess Experience! Thank you everyone and have a very Good Night! 🌹🌹🌹🍺🍺🍺🎈🎈🎈🍪🍪🍰🎂🎂🍰🍞🍎🍎🍓🍏🍺🍺🍺🍻🍻🌹🌹🌹

yeah, he is nuts.

I am just enjoying my new hobby BP! 🌹

The 9 Queens

Ages ago, as a teenager, I played a game against a good friend who was quite a bit weaker than me. Early in the game, I managed to queen two pawns. I thought to myself… wouldn’t it be fun to queen all eight pawns. That single goal drove my play – I passed up many mating opportunities in order to protect my precious pawns and escort them, one by one, down the board to their queening squares.

My friend grew restless, frustrated. Repeatedly, he begged me to mate him and relieve his nightmare. I refused. The nine queens trumped my friendship and compassion. I played on, pushing and pushing the pawns until at last, a single pawn remained - eight queens on the board; my goal only one square away.

The electricity of excitement raced thru my body as I queened my last pawn. And then I saw it – stalemate!  I won the battle, but lost the war.  No doubt, cosmic payback for the pain I caused my friend.

I've just started to learn to play and have become a bit obsessed by chess, much to my wife's annoyance. She barely knows the rules,but very kindly offered to play a game against me. I won in about 3 minutes. So, even more kindly, she offered to play another game. This time, before we began, I gave her my queen. I won again, but it took about 15 minutes this time. She said "Oooh, I'm getting better, it took you much longer this time". I said, "True, but I didn't have a queen". To which she replied, "Well neither did I after the first ten moves". I thought it was really funny.

Many years ago a found a chess group in my university. I played with black against a weak players. When I gave him a check with the bishop on b4 he took my bishop with his Queen! Yes, he has the Queen on e1 the King on d1!? I complained, had to explain that the position was wrong, time was running (5' blitz), I forgot to pause the clock, so I lost on time. Since then I always check the position before the match to see if the figures are in the place they belong. And the guy? After the game he explained very proud that he won against me... It was the first and last time I played in this group.

After learning to move the pieces (but of course not having any idea about stalemate, en passant, and such stuff) I played my first game in a tournament. I was used to play checkers where we do not have Kings, so I perceived as essential not move any pawn in front of this precious figure. I was mated in two after 1.f3 e6 2. g4. The guy began to shout loud "mate in two, mate in two", I went away completely ashamed. Years later I found a book on chess explaining the things without notation, only with photos of the board with the figures. Because this experience with mate in two I thought I am probably too stupid to learn in another way. 

OH YES! 

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

Thank you Rick!

Thank you Narly!

Thank you Toro!

I'm at the hair dressers right now and read your posts to the girls here. They want to thank you for giving them a laugh. Nancy, Linda, Treesha, Gabby and myself want to thank you all and have a wonderful day!

Cheers!

Randi 🌹

Oh and Queeny!

Thank you so much for coming down Queeny. You were great! XO

Thank you Hey-Randi

Here is my joke.

I was playing chess with a friend and I said "Let's make this more interesting".

So we stopped playing chess.

LOL

I was playing in a class C tournament ages ago, and I was completely destroying my opponent. In desperation, at the end, when I made a rook move (I think, it was Rb3-b6), he took it "en passant" with his pawn, and when I objected, he said, "I'm demoting your rook to a pawn". Gave me a very big laugh, for some reason.  

LOL x2

I was playing a kid at a tournament, foreigner, of middle eastern descent probably, total beginner , and the time came when I could win a pawn, he saw it too and he wrote with his blue ink pen on the vinyl board "please don't take my pawn, my dad is watching" 

It broke my heart a little. But it was funny.